Hi, I'm chai latte with soy milk.

18 more days until I go back to school. I'm so excited!

Something I think about sometimes. Maybe it's because the clankers would have to put effort into refining a prompt, or even editing in Photoshop - which is way too much work.

Happy to say that I got back into dance games at the arcade.

yeah I'm fine I just need to be an illustrator and an animator and a developer and an engineer and a guitarist and a bassist and a singer and a producer and a writer and also speak 5 languages

But when you think I've had enough from your sea of love I'll take more than another riverful

Forgive me, homies, but I feel a personal evolution coming.

Autistic horror story: your comfort food is from trader joes

So if I seem a little "off" lately, that's why.

Trying to sit with my feelings lately, and I just feel so.... incredibly bizarre. There is grief, for Pokey, obviously, and then grief for what could have been in Life. MS "seeing" me was like a sledgehammer to my heart, as not only did Movies speak to me, but he literally did as well.

The best local ramen. Also, gotta have my melon juice.

Damn. I had a really nice time last night. Wasn't expecting to be out for 7 hours, but time flies. I needed that.

Got my checkup results back. I am helthee. Slightly low white blood cell count, but not concerning!

I can't nap. When I'm up, I'm up. If I napped, that means I am very tired. I napped for 4 hours.

Who needs a stairmaster when you are always thirsty and have to go down and up stairs to pee?

Next time, I'm hiring movers. For everything.

Ugh shit uuuuuUUUUUUUUGH i hope I don't have to go to the hospital for trying to eat a pastry with one bitter walnut that made my mouth and tongue go numb WHAT

Escaping to water park yet again.

una paloma blancaaaaa I'm just a bird in the sky una paloma blancaaaa over the mountains I fly yes, no one can take my freedom away 🎶

i'm on my shit for a while

Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts Distract with stuff Sit with thoughts 😢

🐾 "What could pawsibly go wrong?" 🐱 Congrats to @fabraz.bsky.social for their Bubsy 4D announcement! What a redesign! 😍 ( 5 x 7, Markers on Bristol )

Tomorrow I have to fight the spider mansion in my detached garage and get the pieces of this giant couch out on the curb for the city's Bulky Item Pickup day.

Taking a break from lifting weights and cardio because you can barely eat enough calories a toddler would need sucks, because I don't want to lose more energy and strength.

I wish I had an appetite so I could eat away my feelings at hot pot for 2 hours.

I think I'm demi grey-ace. I can appreciate beauty and good looks, but I am not attracted to like 99.9% of people. I don't know why I'm saying this. I just need other things to think about to not ruminate.

My body's just on autopilot DOING SHIT or else I just ruminate.

....Why am I size 4 in Old Navy shorts but 8 in pants? I had to try on like 4 different sizes of clothes today.

God. The Keeping Busy grief effect is real.

I need like.. a weighted plushie for my lap.

Let's try mowing the lawn before it turns 90 degrees and I throw up again.

Wonder if it's possible for my therapist to squeeze me in for an emergency session... is that a thing?

Next kitty absolutely must be another lap cat... I am now so used to having that weight in my lap... it feels wrong to not have it.

Spent hours at the waterpark today to get out of this house. Laid down in the shallow end of the wave pool with my hat over my face and pretended to be at the beach... sitting (swimming?) with my own thoughts...

My mind is so numb that I grabbed a banana and a yogurt shake and I shook the banana instead of the shake.

Pottery painting place nearby has lil cat bases you can paint. I think it'd be cute to make a Pokey one I can talk to. Or place in a shadow box.

Peta, the horse is here! 😄🐴🧍‍♀️ (Ft. @chiphund.bsky.social )

Removing pet stuff from apps and... what is this supposed to mean? (Petsmart app)

Welp, that's almost a loss of 7 pounds in like 2 weeks. Not all in a good way. Also, I just bought new smaller shorts recently, and I already need to go down a size. And get smaller shirts. My Mediums look too baggy on me.

Stupid mean brain is going "be grateful you selfish ****".

Was heating up some leftover calamari and a stuffed mushroom and thought "ohhh Pokey's gonna smell thi-"..... 💔

What a fucking week. Started off fine, then I had one of the worst days of my life. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything today.

Every morning I just wake up and start wailing, wishing I could just keep sleeping. (this is NOT sewer slidal)

If the scars of grief come from loving so deeply, then I hope life scars me as deep as it can before I leave this world.

I looked at myself in the mirror and god, I look like a shell of myself. Complete misery.

It was just Sunday you were a purr monster in my lap while I was streaming games to friends. You liked hearing my voice. Heart disease is ruthless.

Just... like... what do you do? You can't eat, you're useless, grief is the only thing you feel...

I don't want anything. Just water.

Not enough water to rehydrate from all the crying.

Great, my new vocal stim is "my good bitch".