I've been thinking so much lately about how different art as a whole would be if the male gaze wasn't the norm. Once you see it it's hard to unsee it. Everywhere. I think that's part of the reason I was always drawn to weird, ugly shit as an artist

sorry for being cringe I'm trying to enjoy being alive

I've been thinking a lot lately about how my trauma has impeded my ability to establish relationships. I've only been in love with one person who (potentially) reciprocated those feelings. Every other relationship was dysfunctional or had a power imbalance in one way or another. 🧵

You realize that when you call Melania Trump an "illegal alien" or a "prostitute" or 'jokingly' transvestigate her what you're actually conveying is that YOU think being an immigrant or a sex worker or a trans person is inherently insulting, right?

Imagine if any of you cared this much about the Epstein survivors getting their personal information 'accidently' released to the public as much you care about dril getting accidently banned for 5 minutes

My hair has turned out how I wanted it to twice in a row guys. TWICE.

I'm glad people are enjoying the mini story about my friend's ex-husband's overacting. I used to post more theatre era stories but they never really got much engagement so I put them on the back burner. Also health issues have dominated the last year & a half of my life...

Abuse often works slowly, chipping away at your identity piece by piece. You don’t realise how much of yourself you’ve lost—until one day, you barely recognise who you are. #CoerciveControl

So, wait, I'm considered an "older adult" at 50? This can't possibly be true because I'm turning 42 in April & I'm truly just a large child who pays bills

Hi 👋🏻 I’m Ash, a retired social worker who treated interpersonal violence. I created this account in response to all the survivors are being re-triggered by current events. Talk, listen, ask This account does not provide therapy or any other professional service. Nobody’s being paid. Be respectful

I had a telehealth psych appointment & I started crying because, well, that's where I'm at right now. But Milly heard me & she came running in & put one of her little paws on my leg. I think dogs make up for all of the empathy that so many people lack nowadays. We don't deserve them

Yes, I do laugh when DHS "orders" get blocked by the court

Today I'm thinking about a playwright friend of mine. She was working on the 1st production of a script she had written & her then husband was in the show. She kept rewriting, not the actual dialogue, but the stage directions because her husband was WAY overacting & the director wouldn't reel him in

The world only wants to hear from people dealing with mental illness AFTER that person has dealt with the difficult, ugly parts of it. No one wants to be there for the person when they actually need you. If you want to be treated like a disease vector, just tell someone you have depression

“Omg I haven’t seen you in FOREVER” I know, you’re annoying and I don’t enjoy your company

In 2020, Jamie Loftus made a fantastic podcast about Lolita, how it has been (mis)interpreted over the years, & its enduring cultural impact. I can't recommend it enough. So often, women & girls are abused & our abusers get the final say on how our story is told. It doesn't have to be like this

So the US Department of Justice released csam including victim images & personal information to the public & people aren't losing their damn minds about it? Tell me again how much you all care about women & children...

I just want someone to make me spaghetti, give me a hug, & not act like I'm not a fucking burden

Yay my current meds got bumped up & I might start something new depending on how that goes... I hate changing my meds. It never goes well &/or the meds just don't work. The last time things got shifted around I had that super fun thing happen where I just felt nothing 👍

Sending compassion to every complex trauma survivor who remains in a freeze state due to the news, the world, the inundation with constant triggering information that your mind and body is trying to navigate. Do what you have to do to respect that response.

Stop telling me that something or someone in the Epstein files will shock me. The reason I'm so angry is that nothing about it surprises me. These people are fine with hoarding billions of dollars while watching other people suffer. The idea that they also get off on torturing children is assumed

The measles outbreak in the Dilley Detention facility will disable and kill children. It’s not a flaw or an accident. This is the system working as intended. Fascism and eugenics go hand in hand. They want the “others” to die. Disease spread is a tool of the colonizer.

Did someone really ask who that guy was standing next to Billie Eilish??? Girl...

Glad I'm not the only one obsessed with Kelly Clarkson songs from the early 00s

Here at the beginning of Black History Month, my Substack this week shares a few of the fascinating individuals and historical icons of Black Queer History. You can read more below! ⬇️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ #QueerHistory #BookSky #History andreamariana.substack.com/p/black-quee...

“It takes a long time to sound like yourself.” — Miles Davis

I stopped taking the Grammys seriously back in 2001 when Baha Men won for Who Let The Dogs Out

Meanwhile at the light at the end of the tunnel….

I just remembered that one time I wrote a post about having fibromyalgia & some random ass woman commented "are you sure it's fibromyalgia?" 🤣🤣🤣 This is one of the reasons why I hate people. You don't even know my full name yet you think you understand more about my body & medical history than I do

in retrospect in the wake of the epstein files being released, no wonder ‘me too’ was met with such anger and ultimately those in power it meant to target never face many consequences

I really think I need my meds adjusted. I generally feel like me at my lowest was ages 12-21. As I just typed that I realized for the first time how long that period of depression lasted. Wow. In my head it always felt like it was only a few years but that was the entirely of my teens wasn't it? 🧵

Why did I buy another box of pączki?????

The United States sorely needs an opposition party right now.

I'm self-aware enough to know that even if I (for some anomalous reason) end up having a super famous boyfriend, I myself am not famous or interesting enough to have a documentary made about me

I guess I'm spending my Saturday being depressed and sending out bitchy emails

Sending love to all SA survivors stumbling upon unredacted descriptions of the President of The United States assaulting girls as they're scrolling social media today Please read with caution and take care of yourself 🩷 #epsteinfiles

I want a Mt Disappointment t-shirt...

Using a gif or video, give everyone a sneak peek of your flirting technique! 😉

The most frustrating part of my current existence is that I know I deserve better in every aspect of my life but I have no idea how to achieve that. I feel stuck & I don't know how to get out of here

Good. Also, the death penalty doesn't deter people from committing crimes. It continues to exist because humans are cruel & enjoy punishing each other

Queerplatonic relationships should be normalized. Having queerplatonic partners should be normalized, too.

I'm not ok & Idk if it's even possible to fix it any more

So my apartment complex has blocked me from using my debit card on their portal due to a payment issue back in December. They will now only allow me to pay with a credit card (that adds a $40+ fee) or through WIPS. I have lived here since 2016 & December was the 1st time there was a payment issue

Dear If Books Could Kill, I would have loved input from someone with knowledge about how substance use disorders & parentification continue to affect children's behaviors even into adulthood. Some of Olivia Nuzzi's choices made so much more sense to me when looked at in this context.

No offense but no one cares about your 'protein goals'

The way most of you can just put anything on your skin as if you don't have moderate to severe chronic eczema that's taken *years* to get under control, is infuriating

Conservative news about to say Alex pretti was a slut

“We have seen asthma, allergic rhinitis, hives/urticaria, environmental and food allergies, with the most common being asthma. But then there is also a good subset of patients developing mast cell activation symptoms,” -me www.medscape.com/viewarticle/...

"Our new analysis shows that it is far more dangerous to be pregnant than to have an abortion, and this gap in mortality risk is even larger than previously recognized.” - lead study author Maria Steenland. In fact, the mortality risk of pregnancy is 44 to 70 times higher than from abortion.