guy who first heard of One Piece through the new lego sets and assumed, based on the name, that it was a lego original ip

guy who gets free stuff from facebook marketplace and craigslist and then donates it to goodwill so they can get a discount coupon there

guy who replaced all the dayquil in their house with panda express orange sauce

guy who brings a 5 ft plastic skeleton with them wherever they go and claims it’s their support animal

guy who goes schloup

guy who is gonna be waiting a while for their pizza

guy who adds number tones to atm machines

guy who got the death sentence for loitering

guy who knows what the ceiling of a walmart feels like

guy who can take screenshots with their eyes but it requires them to blink

guy who can read people’s minds but only to the rhythm of rush e

guy who is a sandwich artist (a sandwich who is an artist)

guy who only craves fast food after all the fast food places are closed

guy who says they’re really good at origami because they can wrap themselves up subway sandwiches

guy who is afraid they’re gonna die because they ate an age 50+ multivitamin and they’re only 19

guy who can only communicate in extremely elaborate Spotify playlists

guy who buys play-doh playsets and reviews their flavors on youtube

guy who is in a relationship with a Walmart self-checkout machine and claims that the machine “really gets them”

guy who steals or moves things only to slightly inconvenience people

guy who snorted pumpkin spice as a joke but is now slowly turning into the king of fall, ruling over every spirit halloween in sight

guy who opens random dot org to pick their gender for the day

guy whose gender is this

guy who has taken out several loans to use for gacha game micro transactions and is now in crippling debt without even getting the png of an anime girl they wanted

guy who has inaccurate hitboxes

guy who has an addiction to microwaving random objects

guy who thinks everything they don’t agree with is fake news

Type of guy who still won't open the Scrub Daddy he bought two years ago and doesn't understand why

guy who can tell how people feel about them by making it up and then believing it

guy who refers to extinct animals as lost media

guy who sets the clock back on his computer in order to "unbreak" the streak after a missed day

guy who broke their duolingo streak cause they ended up in the hospital and is afraid duo is coming to finish the job

guy who sleeps all the time so they don’t catch the woke mind virus

guy who can unlock anything even if it doesn’t have a lock and has unlocked at least 25 gators in the mississippi area

guy who people call a furry just for being forced to wear the Chuck E. Cheese costume at work

guy who has a box of lunchables where their brain should be

guy whose call you missed, but when you try to immediately call them back, they don’t even pick up

guy who is extremely specific about what temperature they would like their water to be

guy who only likes the first half of walk the dinosaur because the second half has the lyric “everybody kill the dinosaur” and dinosaurs are really cool and shouldn’t be killed :(((((((

guys who were roommates

guy who made a Bob Ross drinking game where whenever bob says the name of a paint, they take a shot of that color paint (titanium white and phthalo blue are the good shit)

guy who consistently gets hagrid and jesus mixed up

guy who named all the mannequins in their local clothing store and ships them together and has an entire storyline and lore book written out about them

guy who developed a dating app for all the spiders in their basement

guy who enjoys the stinging ache of a fresh tattoo a little too much

guy who has been waiting half an hour for 5 minutes to pass but a single minute hasn’t even passed yet

guy whose first crush was the lego guy

guy who thought How to Train Your Dragon was a tutorial and is wondering why they can’t get their bearded dragon to fly or breathe fire

guy who is up to no good >:)