As a visitor to this parallel universe, I congratulate you natives on having a man named Fuentes, who hopes to lead the Aryan Rebirth, urging people to vote Democratic in the coming primaries. In my universe, we have a man named Fetterman urging people to vote Republican.

The next time you see a terrified Republican mindslave in Congress agreeing with the latest Trump horror, just think of all the left-of-center people terrified of admitting they don't really think transgender women are real women.

I. Will. Vote. For. Gavin. Newsom. If. He. Is. The. Nominee. Of. The. Democratic. Party. If you decide otherwise, go suck Republican ass.

Can we please increase the vocabulary of American social discourse, so we have words for everything between LOVE and HATE? I don't care about basketball or country music, but I don't hate people who like either one.

We need a new political dictionary. "Austerity" means: Okay, we are done with funneling your money to the 1% through one tacky swindle after another. From now on, it will be government policy. Resistance is punishable. Have a shitty day.

I will say it again: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, TRUMP.

J. D. Vance's next book: Pedophile Elegy.

The Palestinians have been in Palestine longer than people of Aztec descent have been in what is now Mexico City. That is not a joke. The Balfour Declaration can't change that (and it had zero legal value anyway).

I worry about Trump's end game. Either he tries to somehow suppress the midterms this year, or the 2028 election, just finally ruling as a full-on dictator, or he flees the country. If the latter, where to . . . ?

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, TRUMP. Where is George Smiley when we need him?

It is now officially Scotch Saturday. I welcome you, even if your charcuterie board is composed of Vienna sausage and Cheez Whiz.

If, sometime between now and 2028, we manage to remove Trump and his sociopathic pack from power, those of us who claim to be at all left-of-center will have to reconcile our adherence to equality with the realization that a huge number of stupid people put a large number of shitasses in power.

I'm not a part-time lounge singer who investigates cold cases in his spare time, but I play one on TV. They cancelled our show because the writers refused to come up with a storyline involving the Biden crime family. Goodbye, "YesterVegas".

I'm not an ex-con living in a halfway house, but I tell women I am. I do so to test how sincere and grounded they are. What's that, you say? "How's that working out?" It beats telling women I am a Minnesota Republican.

I'm not a small, funny extraterrestial, but I play one on TV. They cancelled our show because the writers wouldn't move my secret underground hideout from Union City, New Jersey, to Greenland. Goodbye, "Ognid, The Anti-Matter Dingo".

I'm not an Iranian cleric, but I play one on TV. Most people don't appreciate the humor on our show. Take my wife - PUUH-LEEZE! Anyway, they are cancelling us because we wouldn't call for the death of protesters. Goodbye, "Shecky And The Mullah".

Jonathan Ross and the initials "J. R." To all who are about to become parents: If your family name begins with an "R", do NOT give any of your children a first name that begins with "J".

Red State Syndrome Poorer, more dangerous, less literate, sicker. Feel sorry for them. Don't hate them.

Venezuela. EPSTEIN. Greenland. EPSTEIN. Minnesota. EPSTEIN. E-P-S-T-E-I-N-!-!-!-!

Slava Groenlandia

I'm not a black female action hero, but I play one on TV, and they are cancelling our show because the writers wouldn't move my character in a Candace Owens direction. Goodbye, "Jaquie Hawke".

I'm not a member of an Illuminati death squad, but I play one on TV, and they are cancelling our show because it isn't "dark" enough to match current events. Goodbye, "Hunters of the Rusted Moon".

ON THE INTERNAL EXILE OF THE AMERICANS If you are an American citizen, what opinion is it that you are afraid to express? I don't expect you to post an answer. Just think about it. You would probably hate mine.

Liberals, 1970-2000: Western Civilisation is a cancer, so beware. Liberals, 2000-2020: Africans created Western Civilisation, so be grateful. Liberals, 2025: How did we lose the 2024 election. BECAUSE you are delusional sticks of dip who took money from the same people who backed Trump. Fuck you.

Thank you.

New Word Of The Day ENTROPOCULTIC: The practices societies engage in to hide the methods used to handle the waste by-products of human production and consumption (such as the dirty dumpsters in the alleys where the ass-ends of buildings converge).

TRUMP RADIO ALPHABET CONTEST I'll start it off: A - AVARICE B - BRIBERY C - CORRUPTION Send in your entries for any letter, including the first 3. I, AND ONLY I, will determine the winners. No prizes, except for an acknowledgement.

Another charge against Trump: He has done NOTHING to protect us from the onslaught of the CHUPERCABER, a creature slowly destroying our maple trees, and therefore our beloved breakfast syrup.

THE ANGRY RED CLOSET (with apologies to the cast of "Angry Red Planet"). Just how many repressed, enraged gay men are there in the leadership levels of the modern Republican Party, from the state level on up? Stop screwing the country. It's OKAY, you can come out.

THE MITCHMATCH (a la former Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels) The unspoken belief that no human organization or institution makes sense unless it is so structured as to provide uneven distribution of benefits. The MINIMUM being 50% of benefits to 10% of the recipients.

New Word Of The Day ASTAKUANDO A new martial art invented by a member of the Cuban-American community in New Jersey. You believe me, don't you?

On Greenland, maybe Trump is planning for a bigger version of Guantanamo, or some "refugium", for a select few, from global warming. More likely, he has some incomprehensible lunatic urge masquerading as a rationale. My apologies to Groenlandia.

New Toponym Of The Day ALLESABI: The region of the United States from the Alleghenies to the Mesabi Range. Go Green Bay (again)

New Toponym Of The Day PENTALAC: Denoting the area of the Great Lakes Basin, in both the United States and Canada. Go Green Bay.

New Word Of The Day CLENCHMARK: Any fashion choice, speech pattern, hygiene failure, behavior, intellectual limitation, obsession or posturing that, in the eyes of the observer, renders an individual unsuitable as a spouse, lover or friend.

THE MANNIX EFFECT If you watch a TV series from the early 70s, focus on how every car, truck, bus, helicopter, TV, phone, computer, article of clothing, washer and dryer, fridge and light bulb were ALL MADE IN A DEMOCRACY. No TV show since 1995 can say the same. Do you see where we are headed?

Eyeless In Gaza Question: Does Israel have the right to exist? Answer: Does Palestine have the right to exist?

Nothing illustrates the power Wall Street has had over the American mind for half a century than watching Bill Maher ridicule the idea of restoring America's industrial base. The oligarchs do NOT want to go back to well-paid unionised workers. Snap out of it.

Question Of The Day Are all the radars in use on this planet microwaving the atmosphere? Perspiring minds want to know.

New Word Of The Day MUTANY: The development of an organised movement aimed at changing the current anti-democratic and oligarchical political order. A critical mess calls for a critical mass. And congrats to Miami on electing a Democratic mayor.

RUMOR CONTROL The Texas legislature will NOT set up a Texas cryptocurrency, the "GITCOIN". Turns out it would be subject to taxation, and, mister, that just ain't right.

Please, someone set up a website where we can prep for the oncoming Trump police state by registering our future prison nicknames. Dibs on "Sweet Farts", but only because "Dribbling Inflamed Anus" was taken. And, HEY, anyone know when the next Steven Seagal movie comes out?

I'm asking the Democrats to promise future legislation to demolish Trump's ballroom and restore the East Wing of OUR White House. And I ask all building contractor firms to promise to bid on that project.

Will someone please manufacture blue liberty caps for those of us who favor democracy over corporate fascism? I can even propose the company mascots: 3 liberty-cap wearing "Karmadilloes of Democracy". They are: "Al'Set", "At'Em" and "Nozama".

RUMOR CONTROL It is NOT TRUE that a major comic book publisher has designed a new super-villain: "Zorba Mandingo, the First Socialist Mayor of Blue York", and the super-heroes who battle against him, "J'Devourance and his pagan concubine Zelegy". But, somebody really ought to run with the idea.

New Word Of The Day SINEROSIS: The condition of living without sexual fulfillment. I thought a lot of Trump supporters would prefer an alternative to "incel", which sounds like a infraction in soccer ("The refs have called an incel against Liverpool! Manchester wins!").

All righty. My first post, after resting up from a titanic struggle with the set-up system. It's past time that I joined the fight against THE GREAT DEBASEMENT of American civilisation that is the 2nd Trump administration. It will be a constant struggle against speechlessness.