The other week I went to a wedding where one side was Templestowe wogs and the other side was Mill Park wogs and the contrasts in behaviour, speech and dress were incredible, better than any nature documentary I've ever seen

Just logging back on to say that my kids are turning 9 and 11 next year and I can't wait to tell people that it's hit me like the Worl...sorry one moment my social media advisor is calling

I swear cars with dashcams deliberately drive like shit because they're looking for drama

It's a "use your work building pass on the Myki reader" kinda morning

Had the pleasure of meeting Pope Francis at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny

Two children, raised by the same parents, one will come and leave an Easter egg next to us and give us a hug, the other has told us she's doing a full stocktake of her eggs and if any are missing there will be trouble

I have agoraphobia in the literal sense (scared of markets)

Can't even use my favourite Easter meme this year :(

The mainstream media won't tell you that the Houthis shot down Katy Perry's rocket

Pripyat would be less terrifying and more lively than the District Docklands

How can anyone hate daylight savings? It's already dark outside from 7:30 and the clocks haven't even changed. This is HELL!!!!!

Had the pleasure of meeting Val Kilmer at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny

Saw a guy wearing a "I am a LIBERTARIAN" t-shirt get into a Tesla with his two pomeranians which sort of makes the t-shirt redundant

Had the pleasure of meeting my Twitter account at a charity do once. It was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny

"why are so many cunts at the gym at 12:00pm on a Monday??" - a cunt (me) at the gym at 12:00pm on a Monday

Need to replace my aircon unit, might have to sell quad pics after all, or start a far right (racist) podcast, both of which seem lucrative in the short term. Sorry guys

Going to be more behaved on here. No Balkan racism, less swearing, no slutty quad shots. This is a new me and I'm looking forward to embracing it. A timeline that would make my HR department proud

Are you all as perverted over here as you are on Twitter?

"get involved with your kids sports clubs" i'm about to 9/11 their soccer clubrooms over a grant application they asked me to help with so no don't do it

24 hours later and not a single mental breakdown on my timeline, this place really is different

can i use slurs here? not that i ever would i'm just curious that's all

i had a chance to be free. i'm going to regret this