Your words mean nothing and your face is a butt

was looking through old discord arguments and found one where I was saying that mario has an "ontological basis in wealth" because he gets more lives from collecting coins aka he's literally made of money

Ants got into my ‘under the bed’ ice cream but they’ll never be able to reach my ‘under the pillow’ ice cream 😎

Doctor put me on performance diminishing drugs

Maybe if I complete the Pokédex in Pokemon Emerald something amazing will happen to me

Zero tolerance machining can create perfectly fitted objects but you don’t even fucking care about that

I wish my cis brother was like northern lion

I was initially formed out of pottery clay but came to life because it was my true hearts wish to be friends with everybody in the world

I’m not turning into my mother or my father I’m turning into myself

I’m leading a research team of MIT graduates to try and create a pill that simulates the feeling of getting your tits sucked

Law ready for this?

I wish smoke bombs were real

Whenever I see a picture of a woman sticking her middle finger up I think “wait me? Fuck me? Fuck Sammie?? I’m sorry”

All female nine inch nails cover band called Nine Inch Heels

I know what lurks in the hearts of man

Uhh, nice try, fuckwit, but Elton John isn’t gay. He’s actually a bad ass rockstar from the 70’s

Hello I am 12 years old and I was born in South Korea!

I’m going to shoot my shot! (Asking the Uber driver if he’ll give me his AirPods for free)

If I had a girlfriend I would stop killing

Who’s dick I gotta suck to suck a dick around here

Unidentified Philadelphia murder victim called Jawn Doe

I think everyone should die basically all the time

If I don’t respond to you it’s because I’m fighting and if I respond instantly it means I want to fight you

I thought facing defeat on the battlefield would be romantic but im actually just frustrated as fuck

Splash! Splash! Splash!

Beautiful wife who does not love me you must wake up… I need your computer password so I can play games… please…

Everyone hates me because my juicy mouth gets the cigarette all wet

Little Jack Horner’s sniffing all the glue and the pavements back to crap

Greetings from Brazil!

Google imaging “biggest capacitor” and drooling

Welcome to Intercourse Pennsylvania

I found a nerve in my arm that makes my leg feel funny

I’m 23 years old is it normal to not have balls yet? When do I get those?

The range of motion of life should be unlimited

Cute boys 🥰

No, Dasani does not “print the Protocols of the Elders of Zion onto each label”

“I’m going to kill you” is a new way of expressing sex

All gone quite on the wanker front

Spent all my allowance on the hoes now I’m finding new and creative ways to dodge bus fair

my dentist looked in my mouth and saw the bruised soft palate in the back and said "oh right, happy pride!"

In the real world if you miss a trigger the nice woman WONT go back and let you cast it you’re basically fucked and have to pay attention

Jack off all trades Master of cum

Heres a fella that definitely wont remind you of another cool guys character, I had alot of fun designing the weapons for this fella and coming up with a lil bit of lore. #CharacterDesign #Scifi #Design

STRANGERS ARE AFRAID OF MEEEEEE

Bones are just mortar for my organs

I think my money is gay there’s too many men on top of one another

You might assume the band “Chinese football” would sing in Chinese, and you’d be right.

Freedom is when a little bird sits on a giant robot

I neeeeeeed to fuck Tim Hensonnnnn

open.spotify.com/track/6LHmdb... New sex song