Both sides suck you fucking ignorant moron

All my problems stem from good decisions gone wrong....Sike! Im a shit show lol

All work ever serves for lunch is shit burgers

I hope your coffee is hot and nipples are cold 😏

Its dark out, come turn on my fleshlight

***Adds Hockey gambling to the repertoire***

Change the name of a TV show: The Mary Tyler Whore Show

Good morning to all the voluptuous ladies 😏

FINE.....ill run for office and just fix everything with my big swinging dick and kill them with kindness attitude

Scrubbed the shit stains off the inside of the toilet....thought of you

You cant hurt my feelings.....I have none

We need more sports posts here

Everyday that I wake up I have a new sore area lol, it sucks getting old

Are they ever gonna give us group chat here?! Stingey Fucks.....

There should be a Ref throwing flags in the bedroom "False Start!"

Moving on to White Claws.....

Im never sorry that it gets out of hand

I dont care how sexy you are....if you cant hold a conversation or make me laugh youre absolutely useless to me

The NFL should be the only things trending on Sundays, but you so called political fucks who have no idea what youre talking fuck that up

If you think youre always correct and the rest of the Internet is wrong, you've been grossly misinformed

Might horny post, might drink Tequila, only the streets will know

Simon Says show your fun bags

Dicks out in the laundry room if anyone needs an update on my life

Im several beers and hornies into this morning

Be Medusa and make everything hard today

Red Rover, Red Rover, time for you to bend over

Should I have breakfast beers?

Im delighted to announce that I dont give a fuck today

I use the tears of my enemies as the salt on the rim of my Bloody Mary's

Dont forget to tinkle

Americans are showing how wild they are in real time in London right now

Its not my problem you're missing out on my slut era....thats a you problem

The rules of engagement are as follows: Tits

Dont forget your Adderall and butt plug before you start laundry 🙂

Who out there being a Semen Demon?

I wish I had a Laundry slut

Good morning, its time to sin

It was Tom Brady all along

Dont forget to butter her muffin 🤭

Im several morning woods into this fine Saturday

Its only a good morning if your tits are out 😏

Its National Body Language day, so im gonna do the Helicopter the rest of the day

Youre ruining your life.....im ruining my Liver

Happy to the Friskies only

CUBS!!!!!!!

Politics is just like the show Ancient Aliens, you keep believing it but its all bullshit and you fell for it

I wonder if Travis gets to nut on Taylor's face 🤔

Dont forget to take your pills and then the side effects pill for the first pill you took

I've come to the conclusion that none of you work

Happy Thighsday