With this and the Greens I'm being trolled by hope, aren't I It can't be real

New Brexit benefit just dropped Sort it, Starmer

Petition to make people wipe their mobile phone's camera lens before taking photos Half of them make me think I've got cataracts

Anyone need for today? Person using mine can't drive over a massive tree apparently

Lebkuchen mit Aprikose in Lidl, lads

So, she's kicked the Bucket? (Someone had to do it) (And probably already has)

Michelle Mone in the mud Park that yacht up love

I've absolutely no interest in golf, I do have an interest in some raging Confederate gun freak losing his shit as Europe win by 12 lengths or whatever the scoring is I thought it would be over by now and the content would be everywhere ffs

www.oddschecker.com/football/foo... Just off for a brisk walk into the North Sea

Today's bleary eyes are brought to you by:

Lots of bridge chat Here's some bridges what I have been on all within about 50 miles of each other

The only way Trump could be any more embarrassing is if he carried on talking during a long, very wet fart picked up by the microphones. Like that Naked Gun scene

Dickie Bird then Out before lunch

Just giving tradesmen props for their unwavering commitment to the (owners initials) (what the company does) naming format. A roofer named Gary Jones? GJ Roofing. Plumber named Trevor Brown? TB Plumbing. Timeless.

Big ask of St Pauli this, having played yesterday against Stuttgart

Whatever, Magic 8 Ball

Seems like the kind of day to buy a fleece (Buys fleece) (Not one with wolves on it or shit like that)

I'm just waiting for "Deadford" to be deployed by some unterquipper

Kruder and Hofmeister (I win again, lads)

Happy Mondays my way next March. Is Ryder going to be as energetic as Osbourne was in that farewell gig or...

Good of Bayindir to get out of the way there Very polite

Hearing of a new social demographic called "Hot Chip Dad" German/Belgian beer Dog owner YouTube Music sub for video playlists Carhartt Sid pants in 5 different colours Green party membership Rejoin Ok it's me, I'm the Hot Chip dad

Chelsea in the mud Must be 2/3 more titles coming United's way with the city charges as well A rare shaft of light in United's dark existence

Lord Cannedelson, I propose

Trump there, humiliated by Putin, his tariffs blocked by judges, Epstein birthday cards, economy going backwards, man does he need the narrative changing. Haaaaang on....

If you had some sympathy for that ref who was sacked for slagging off Klopp and doing a bit of beak, well, strap yourselves in lads...

One of the first songs I ever bought Yes, on vinyl you virgins RIP 💜 music.youtube.com/watch?v=kln_...

Boris Johnson in the mud

Workshopping a Levy / Chevy quip. Will get back to you soon *chews end of pencil*

Anyone use YouTube Music *and* has sorted how to get the fucking thing to shuffle properly? Needs a separate app yeah?

Giorgio Arghhhmani, I suppose

"Worth a go innit" Lawyer - "FFS..." news.sky.com/story/paul-d...

🎶 Jump with them all and move it Jump back and forth 🎶

Mrs Ten Hag having to pack all her stuff again

Google is absolutely shit at finding a "cracked Manchester city badge"

Orange Deuce (No further entries required)

The Knights Who Say Ni****

BRYAN MBOOMER

BRYAN MBOOMER

Or any Carabao debits for Flagshagger Rovers #Amorimmuststay

Bryan MBoomer

Love a sunset at the match, me

Just got to Grimsby and *of course* the first mini roundabout I see has been crayoned

Neville wants us to believe that player that twirled Mount above his head was flattened by a pat-a-cake from a player who is ten stone wet through

"And with that lineup, we kick off today's game with the score 1-0 to Fulham"

🎶 I don't care 'bout that 🎶