I took in a lad from Ukraine tonight, sponsored by mates to spend time abroad before he's 25 and gets called up They wanted the match on after we'd done music for 2 hours They fucked off at half time, obvs You better believe I'm explaining United have two better centre halves than England took

It was the cig hanging out of his gob that topped it off

Wouldn't it be awful if Donaldson's first night in prison involved no sleep whatsoever. And if that time in prison was for the rest of his natural life. Wouldn't that be terrible.

My favourite memory of Messi is him trying to score, for a large chunk of the match, the one goal that would've knocked United out in a CL semi final at OT, and failing to do so

Streeting not running, so that's something

The one thing saving us from becoming even more of a going backwards shithole is rejoining the EU and you can bet Burnham hasn't got the balls for that. Mustn't upset the dead brexiters and express readers that won't ever vote Labour anyway, must we

(Massive exhale)

I'm taking names here you bastards

Hydration break

I thought it was a huge place! You live and learn

"You could say, the Reform's candidate's hopes went down the drain"

URGENT YOUNG BOB UPDATE His real name is Gregory Moffitt, which isn't much of a "vanguard of the far right new dawn" vibe now is it

Uncanny

Paul W Tibbets Jr, August 6th, 1945

Arthur Scargill, 19ohIcannotbearsed

Banning under 16s from Facebook is like banning quadruple amputees from parkour

Just give to the MANNSCHAFT now, Infantino. You can't compete with this

Useless blue bastard

Me looking at my TL rn

Wasn't this anthem on Yacht Rock Classics

Just seen Tommy Ten Names got lifted again

Nipper just left me a message (she's at Uni there), they just said "central Brighton" but we didn't see anything And now we know why

No visa, no Partey

I predict a lot fewer legitimate concerns being expressed tonight in this weather

Captain Oates diary entry, 17th March, 1912

Having a chuckle there watching the Irish correspondent for the 42's Instagram reel and recalling the time I sorted him a seat next to me at OT and literally could not understand a fucking word he said, he's done well now the lad Still says "tree" for 3 though

Quick Q, are we already at the Kristallnacht stage or has it got to be businesses not houses burned for that? Asking for future history books

The World Cup can't start soon enough. Distract the imbeciles off whatever Robinson or Musk are telling them to do.

Just went for a shite without taking the phone in with me

Suppose someone whose name ends "la" had to be Liverpool manager sooner or later

Happy with today having won a day as a cricket groundsman in a raffle

The sad end of Hall and Oates

Pure poetry

Another 5, let's make it a bit trickier 1 - Terry Hall 2 - Mani 3 - Maxim (Prodigy) 4 - David Lammy 5 - Helen of Troy

Biggest game of the season Liga 3 promotion play off Wurzburg (the good guys) now 2-0 up on aggregate at half time in the second leg at home Anyone got a bet on?

Paris Stun Gunners There you go, tabloid headline writers

Day Before you came / Fernando / Dancing Queen - Abba Rasputin / Rivers of Babylon / Holiday - Boney M

"What are you chucking at" "This Vinted listing" "Eh? Oh..."

Shook hands with Vincente Del Bosque and Fernando Hierro Recognised them off the telly and just went "alright lads" while with Little Phil before the Wembley CL final Yes, I'd had a beer

Hadn't seen a second of the Endsleigh Lays League but just saw a Palace goal on Instagram and the competition was seemingly sponsored by Flixbus. Now wondering if next year's will be sponsored by a vape shop or Lidl's fake Madri

Can we start using "Frederson" as of now, please

27 years ago today, I woke up in the back of a Mondeo estate in a layby near Barcelona, having blagged the time off on the Monday and set off that night No tickets, no hotel, no flight Jibbed in, obvs

Not really the weather for popping out with the dog, so bored I did one of these. Been outside that box once, I'm ok with it.

Drama in the quest for the Lays League it is then

I pay next to zero attention to England, but Jordan Henderson?

Me hearing Fanfare for the Common Man for the first time

With Go! getting it's rebirth, this will be the next Chemical Brothers song to get used on TV and go mental. And a brilliant video to boot Bookmark away music.youtube.com/watch?v=BC2d...