Do you want to slide into somebody’s mailbox? I have just the snail cards for you! thecardmonger.etsy.com/listing/4475... Need more snail mail? How about a note card trio? thecardmonger.etsy.com/listing/4475... Let me make some marvelous mollusks for you!

Benji is celebrating the first day of spring by spreading his wings! Aaaaand that’s enough exercise, time for a nap.

Do I get workers comp if I hurt my back by leaning across the dog all day? #FloorHog

A memory from this time last year when a community cat came by to check out my tortoise and give him some boops.

Has anyone seen a set of adorable brown ears? We seem to have mislaid Benji’s. #CantHearYouMom

We are having a deck installed out back and the husband is taking out the old stone steps. The dogs have to use the side door for a few days. I think this is gonna give Sully a nervous breakdown.

I have a new listing in my Cardmonger Etsy shop… Custom pet egg holders! Place your order, message me a picture and any details of your cat, dog, or other pet and I will make a Cadbury or kinder egg holder of your best friend! thecardmonger.etsy.com/listing/4471...

No fair putting snowflakes on a Benji. 😠

I really miss following Kuno and Chesnyy @servicerotties.bsky.social on that other site. There are no rotties in my feed now. Can anyone recommend accounts I should check out?

Benji is having none of your nonsense today. #BowtieBulldog

Am I the only one that will never learn to spell privileges?

@gusterbear.bsky.social you have a fantastic talent for making earrings. I don’t wear them, and I don’t have a job right now, but I would be more than happy to donate a large stack of earring cards or some other custom packaging to help your business succeed. Message me if you’re interested!

I had to leave town suddenly for my mother-in-law’s funeral. My usual housesitter was unavailable and I came so close to taking Benji with me, but didn’t want to inconvenience my husband’s lovely family in anyway. I got home last night and I cannot tell you how much I missed this face. #BulldogSmile

My very sweet 92-year-old mother-in-law just passed away, and I am responsible for putting together a photo montage. Has there ever been a better family photo than this one? She is the little girl in the front.

I just woke up and this is what my trending list looks like. As a Leo and an American, I’m not used to the center of the universe having nothing to do with me. I don’t like it.

I am supporting my friend who is having knee surgery today. The waiting room is playing Fox News and when I ask him to change it to something less political, they said it has to stay on this channel. OMG listening to them quack about Hillary testifying. 🤢 But I will be speaking to a manager.

Ok snackers, would you eat a serving of fried garlic cloves? The package says a serving size is half an ounce. Is that a ridiculously small snack or a crazy amount of garlic?

I’m guessing everyone is feeling particularly gross this morning so I’m going to the vault for a particularly cute Benji. I hope this helps. #BloomingBulldog

Why does this Tuesday feel like a Monday? #LazyBrownDog

Why did I make my turtle box so low? So that when I walk by it, I can see things like this. 🚨

I just found my next tattoo!

British friends: I just asked my husband if he would to check out the new architectural salvage store in town tomorrow. I said we don’t need to buy anything, but it might be fun to “ take a shifty”. He laughed at me even after I told him I was speaking British. Did I say it wrong?

“But mom, it’s raining!” 😔

I am so done with the cold, nasty weather and I need a Zen break from my crazy job. I’m just gonna sit here and watch this video of Rosie last summer next 10 minutes. #TortoiseStroll

It’s hard to find a “Won’t Look Wednesday” for Benji because he’s never seen a camera he didn’t like. But he will pretend to be asleep. If he doesn’t open his eyes, how can he possibly get out of bed? #WontLookWednesday #BulldogMornings

There are no snuggly bulldogs in this, but it will still do your heart good. youtube.com/shorts/E3d6o...

Happy Tongue Out Tuesday from the brownest baby bulldog. #BornToBlep

Just when we needed a little happy, Cadbury eggs are back in the store and ANIMAL CADBURY EGG HOLDERS are back on my Etsy store! Just saying: there are three holders, but the eggs come four in a pack so you will have to eat the extra one. Thems the rules. 🤷🏻‍♀️ thecardmonger.etsy.com/listing/1686...

Benji enjoys watching the tortoises get baths, but he is very suspicious that he may be next. #NoBaffsForBenji

With great tongue comes great responsibility #TongueWrangling

For those who remember my WW3 with my sleazy backyard breeder neighbor, I have been closely watching my boyfren Zeus who is out in this weather far too much. I finally took him this dog bed and look how happy he is!

In honor of the Olympics, my dogs synchronized sleeping. Benji wanted to demonstrate curling, but he’s too fat to curl up.

I’ve been sharing so much cute bulldog lately and I wanted to switch it out with cute leopard tortoise. Turtling is a thirsty business!

I was not expecting Matt to take a stand, but this is wonderful.

I told Benji I have to go to a meeting today and he can’t come. I’m guessing this spishusface means he thinks we should try anyway.

New great life regret unlocked. Why didn’t I know I could apply to be one of these bundles of grass? I would tell everyone I met for the rest of my life that I performed in the Super Bowl halftime show. www.tiktok.com/@espn/video/...

Bulldogs are a full contact sport and Benji is on the varsity team. #BulldogsUpInYourBusiness

Sometimes when I’m working in my craft room/home Office, I realize Benji is whining pathetically off in the distance. It usually means that Sully is blocking his way in, and he’s too scared to walk past him.

Two urchins battle for the best spot under the @thegoldenratio4.bsky.social dock. Yeeted rivalry.

They say life imitates art. In this case, Benji and my husband are imitating the ceiling of the Sistine chapel.

I’ve had a tough day. Anybody wanna have a nice shot of Doritos nacho cheese distilled malt beverage with me?

It’s Wednesday. The snow is not leaving. Breakfast is over and it’s a long time till dinner. But for now, there’s this sun beam.

Some folks have pointed out Benji’s crusty nose. It’s a bulldog thing, the vet is aware. We just try to keep it moisturized, and I give it lots of kisses in case that helps.

A little more ducky jams… wait for it…

Oh dear. Auntie sent ducky jammies. I can’t tell if Benji loves them or hates them.

Please, universe, more of this absurdity right now.

When you’re a baby bulldog, the hardest part of the day is sorting out your tongue after it’s been hanging out dry all night.

Just found out that blue traveler, Gin Blossoms, and Spin Doctors are touring together this summer. I have just found something to look forward to in this bleak, awful world. Anybody want to give an amen?

Saturday’s laundry day, and Benji is helping change the sheets. He has no idea how all that slobber got there.

Tell me five classes you took in college Ethnomusicology Environmental law People of northernmost Europe Land use planning Ecology and politics