I really got married and changed my last name, wow. I’m just a girl

Refinanced my mortgage and got a new Dyson vacuum

Why the FUCK did he turn around and run away with the goddamn POSTER CHILD FOR LUMON

“High protein dessert” and it’s Greek yogurt

Anyone with a le creuset set? I’m just trying to see if it’s worth it

Pray for your fellow fed worker. We going through it honey.

Whoever suggested Paradise on Hulu… 🤝🏾

Coming on here after 9pm is a different world

This meeting at 8:45 interrupting me doing my silk press. This is what they’re trying to take from me!

Bought an electric griddle from Target to hold my house over during this kitchen renovation. Got home and the damn thermostat thing was missing. I returned it and bought another one from Amazon. Target will never get the chance to treat me like im a piece of shit ever again ….

$300 for a RUG!!!! It just lay there!

Has anyone actually survived a kitchen renovation?????

My husband caught me after my post workout shower, ended up having to take another post workout shower

You mfs had chocolate naan this whole time and ain’t say NOTHIN!! This is the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten

There isn’t anything much scarier than waking up thinking you got a few minutes to yourself to look over and your infant is silently staring deep into your soul

Beyoncé tickets in my phone no Beyoncé tickets in your phone 🐎

They forgot to change the rest of the simulation cause this was all supposed to happen if Kamala won the election

And boy was i hootin and hollerin!!

Hearing YAYA in person and hitting a mean jerk and twist would make this year so much more bearable

To the hussy who is putting smiley faces on the cups of coffee my man orders for pick-up ..…you keep making the hell outta these good ass blonde vanilla lattes!

I judge my mood based off how many times I listen to the Blond album. I’m on my 4th play through and this signifies a depression is near

I just want some plain leggings!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t need the butt scrunch thing please!!!

It’s hilarious the details men seem to find important. My husband (who avg about 33.33% remembering to take the trash to the end of the road) looked at me today and told me I’m putting the trash bags in the can wrong. I’m putting them in “inside out” he says…when tf trash bags have right side?

💜

I can’t stand that big back orange bitch

Every so often I remember Kendrick gonna call this man a pedo on live national tv and I get to smiling to myself 😊

I SAID MY SORORZ! 🗣️

My fridge just sent me a notification that it needs a software update …

I got TWO mean grandmas, don’t play with me 😤

Peanut butter hate to see me coming. I’m eating a banana? Give me PB on some naan I’m eating apples? Give me PB to dip I’m eating veggie soup? Act like you been here before and make me PB sandwich!

Be needing a welfare bag of them jawns for one dinner.

Spinach just be pissing me off. How the hell 3 handfuls of spinach = 3 teaspoons of cooked spinach ??

After having kids it’s hilarious to think back to when I was a kid and the things I would do + my thought processes. There would be times where I’d be like “I’d rather starve than eat these black eyed peas” and I was dead serious

I’m ngl I be on Nextdoor just being nosey!!

I’m ready to find my lane this new year. Everything I’ve done seems like going through the motions or like a phase I want to find something that is truly me and then really sink my claws in and make it beautiful and intentional

Damn Jimmy you fucked the city up with this one 💔

Not me pressing some 25s, these is boy weights 🤭

It’s me, I’m the one posting cooking pics/vids in my close friends

Is anyone watching the new dance moms?? My god these moms are annoying

got my hurr did 🤎

What time is the Beyoncé show??

For the parents, how are yall getting your toddler to eat vegetables. I’m struggling over here

🩶

It’s crazy to me how two of the ugliest men I’ve ever seen in my life run a podcast named “Fresh & Fit” and neither one is “Fresh” nor “Fit”

Let me tell you what i need: 1 night, 3-4 lemon drops, 1 shot of tequila, and to hear BLOW once maybe twice in the club

Halfway into this Pilates cover workout video to only realize it’s an advanced video. No wonder I was crying and throwing up

I’m putting a case out on BigMicrowave because that is NOT a real minute!

Espresso machines? Does anyone have one and which one? I’m wanting to get one for the house so we can stop going to Dunkin’ and Starbucks

I be so excited when I get gifts for my husband I be bout ready to ruin the surprise