absolutely wild that we can't even trust the weather reports anymore. MAGA!

Not sure what actually happens at the met ball past the red carpet

Just saw an ad for jewelry that “makes the perfect Mother’s Day gift.” selling points? Comes in a nice box so you don’t have to wrap it, and it’s “safe” because this style sells out frequently. So great if you want to put in no effort and you don’t know anything about her style. Happy Mother’s Day!

question for my writer friends -- how do you deal with post pilot disappointment? You work on a project for months, or years, finally it's ready. You're so proud of it. You send it to your manager and then -- nothing. You just move on to the next thing? It's so depressing!

His name was Brian Sicknick. And you pardoned his murderers.

My kid wouldn't stop saying "poopy" and laughing so finally I told him he was beating a dead horse and it wasn't funny anymore and now he won't stop saying "dead horsey" and laughing...

me after last night's "Yellowjackets" @yellowjackets96.bsky.social

Ok Cynthia already won the Oscar’s

Toddler told me the dinner I made last night was “disgusting” but I just had to yell at him to stop sucking on his own big toe

was not expecting a Columbo reference in tonight's Traitors

democrats reallllllly need to stop asking me for money right now

I wish there were "tv edits" of R-rated movies I could show my son on streaming services

thinking of going back to school to become a robot

I’m just shocked that he can still shock me

Quick, everyone scream RABBIT RABBIT

the only thing worse than 67 souls being lost last night is the President of the United States of America blaming it on HIRING BLACK PEOPLE AND WOMEN.

who I think of whenever the kids say "rizz"

WHEN IS CHAPPELL ROAN'S "THE GIVER" COMING OUT?! I've waited long enough. I fucking NEED it. now.

new motto is "keep suckin' dicks til '26"

30 days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31, except January 2025 which has 2,847 days

oh no I accidentally looked at the news

willing to bet money that Tr*mp will "save" TikTok. It's all political theater...

Local news has been straight up killing it covering this fire. 🔥 The footage they’re putting out is simply unbelievable

just had to spend 10 min convincing my parents not to go for a hike in the valley today 😵‍💫

okay! I did it! I survived til 25. Now what?

INJECT IT STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS

sitting around waiting for an email. yup, writers are back to work!