And in the latest news from Iran... [https://youtu.be/mQfVmzvyYI4?si=kMxCuAUdMnnfK0yU](youtu.be/mQfVmzvyYI4?...)

Bill Pulte sings… youtu.be/hmuiyUtVQ1M?...

I never thought I’d hear a more self-destructive 4 words from a U.S. president than Joe Biden’s “We finally beat Medicare” but Trump’s “I love the inflation” is an instant classic.

The way things are going, Trump may have to tell Todd Blanche to release more Epstein files to distract from the Iran war that he started to distract from the Epstein files.

Anatomically impossible as it might be, Trump handed himself his own ass. Kristen Welker asked straightforward questions and responded as best she could over Trump’s incoherent bellowing.

It’s a small comfort to know that if it does get built, it will someday be known as the Fallen Arch. www.cnn.com/2026/06/05/p...

I have come to realize that the words "we are fucked" have lost all meaning.

For the 1st decade or 2 after Trump is gone they will write books about him, but 50, 100 and 500 years later they'll be writing about US, the American people, and how we allowed a madman to lead us over a cliff.

Trump's America 250 Freedom Fair could be even bigger than his 2020 rally in Tulsa!

Sorry to go low, but I gotta ask: Does anyone know how they divide up the dick-balls-taint-ass licking responsibilities at Trump cabinet meetings? Is it a seniority thing or just a cyclic eenie-meenie-miney-moe type of situation? www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECYK...

Something is seriously wrong. Trump hasn’t told a “sir,sir…tears in their eyes” story in weeks!

I’d bet that Trump sent his son a personal note explaining why he couldn’t attend his wedding that ended with “thank you for your attention to this matter.”

Seems as though Trump is stuck in a Mobius strip where he has to bomb Iran again to distract from the slush fund, which was a distraction from Iran, which was a distraction from the economy…lather, rinse, repeat. And if the music stops…Epstein.

Prediction: Trump / Blanche will hand out a few million to a handful of "central casting maggats" who will provide great PR, but most of the real money will go to the likes of Giuliani, Roger Stone, Manafort, Eastman, Meadows and other billionaire buddies of Trump who want a cut.

It's worse than you think: Trump's $1.8 billion "settlement" isn't compensation for "victims" of Jan 6, 2021 "weaponization", it's a down payment for Jan 6, 2029.

EJM brings you the news before it even happens...

Putin to visit China next week to settle bet with Xi over who humiliated Trump worse. www.nytimes.com/2026/05/16/w...

This just shot to the top of my “Tunes I Wish I Wrote” list. youtu.be/t4xrVUl24tE?...

How It Ends: Trump will declare a "great deal" where Iran charges a toll to pass through the Strait and gives Trump a (small) cut. If he drives a really hard bargain, they'll rename it the Strait of Trump and give him a participation trophy.

Trump is threatening to withdraw US troops from Germany, Italy and Spain. That could backfire and give rise to a GTFOUS movement all across Europe. www.theguardian.com/world/live/2...

It was 100% predictable that Trump would call Nora O’Donnell a disgrace for reading the shooter’s manifesto, so why she wasn’t ready with the obvious response: “So you think the American people don’t deserve to know what’s happening just because it’s unflattering to you?”

We'll never know what kind of deep insecurity compels Trump to plaster his name and image on every conceivable thing, but someday, in the not too distant future they'll refer to the monstrosity he's building on the East Wing as the Rosebud Ballroom.

When Obama roasted Trump at the 2011 WHCA dinner, he was holding back the knowledge that Osama bin Laden would be killed the next day. It’s a good bet that Trump will try and outdo Obama and announce a new round of bombing Iran in his speech tonight.

Breaking: According to sources in Pakistan, no progress has been made in negotiating an end to the war with Iran, but Kushner and Witkoff have managed to sell time-shares in Palm Beach to the entire Iranian delegation.

Breaking: Nunes to pen sequel...

Who could have seen this coming? Devin Nunes, the OG of Trump stooges, is getting the boot from Trump's media company. Investors can take solace in the fact that their shares are now worth less than the cowbells worn by the cows Devin has sued. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/21/b...

Trump even makes the Bible sound dirty: “If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land,” www.thedailybeast.com/trump-reads-...

Yes, Donnyland, of course! Next stop, the Strait of Trump. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/21/u...

Looks like Trump will be doing some damage control and be part of a marathon Bible reading. I'm gonna fast forward through that and skip to where he gets bored and says he doesn't need to re-read the Bible because nobody knows more about it than he does. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/17/u...

Breaking: Iran to Bomb Itself, Just to Fuck With Trump!

Week in Review: The president attacked the pope The Secretary of Defense quoted a bible passage lifted from "Pulp Fiction" The Secretary of Health and Human Services collects racoon penises The FBI director is a blackout drunk I got nothing. Will someone please wake me when it's over?

If you're gonna be a crazy old fart, be a Carville, not a Trump! nypost.com/2026/04/04/m...

Unverified posts are floating around saying that Trump was told to say the Jesus image was "doctored" but he “improved” on their advice (the same way the "incursion" into Iran became an "excursion") and say he was a doctor, not Jesus. The stupidity level sounds just about right.

Trump: “The Pope doesn’t have the cards.”

Ya gotta wonder...

Honest, I swear I did my homework but an eagle swooped in and took it and left a ball of light in my hand and Army guys with wings started running toward me and there were jet planes and then there was a guy lying there with a “Push in Case of Emergency” button on his forehead…

Good luck with that blockade, but I hope that Trump is prepared for a huge taco meal when he (re)discovers that China may not have cards, but it does have rare earth minerals.

I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong, so let me be the first to apologize. It turns out that Trump really IS playing 3-dimensional chess.

According to Trump, cards only count when he holds them. Iran has no cards, but they now control over the Strait of Hormuz. And when his blockade attempts to stop a Chinese ship, he can explain to them that they have no cards when they cut off our access to rare earth materials.

In case you missed the First Lady's press conference this week...

Listening to Melania, I couldn’t help but wonder how she could be here for 30 years and still speak the language so poorly, but then I realized that she spent most of that time with Trump so she rarely got a word in edgewise to practice

Coming soon, another bowlbuster from EJM Books

Looking ahead, historians will refer to Trump's Iran War as a Strait Flush - what happens when you have the bombs but not the cards.

Is there some kind of grace period before they start including Trump's Iran war in military strategy and history courses as an example of military superiority without political or diplomatic planning?

With all the Trump Big Crazy going on, it’s easy to miss the Little Crazy stuff, like when he says he’ll learn Spanish and become President of Venezuela because he’s “good at languages.” Sorry, what languages, Sir? Surely, he’s not including English. www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump...

Breaking... Zelensky to Trump: "Invade us next. Please!!!"

The Iranians aren’t stupid. Yes, they’re going to gain control of the Strait of Hormuz, but they’ll call it the Strait of Trump and give him personally a 2% cut of revenue. They understand the Art of the Deal far better than he does.

Any minute now I'm expecting to hear that Iran is herding civilians to bridges and power plants, daring Trump to step up and commit wholesale murder. I also wouldn't be surprised if our power grid or telecommunications goes down at around 7 pm tonight.