The acorn falls really far from the tree when a Cat 5 hurricane comes through.

What if the Bible was actually saying “Raptor”?

Ironically Ironclad.

When I walk too close to the edge of the sidewalk, and I slightly veer off into the grass, I quietly think to myself… “parkour”.

Everyone has heard of Casual Fridays, but have you ever tried Casual Wednesdays?

If you take any conspiracy theory and run it through legitimate tests against a control group, and the experiment/results are repeatable, and allowed to be peer reviewed…and after all of this, proves to be true…it no longer is a conspiracy theory, but is now a scientific theory.

I just want to hang out with a group of Capybaras.

If I learned anything in school, it is this: Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

Quantum Doritos

I am afraid the phrase “a fly in the ointment” has lost its meaning.

Good, consistent customer service does not guarantee success of a company but consistent, bad customer service will guarantee failure.

Critical thinking is a skill few attempt to refine.

Are you running FROM something or running TO something?

His birth-name is Moses Ronald Smith. His friend call him Moe Ron.

Laughter might not always be the best medicine, but it is the cheapest.

There is no platypus controlling me.

Did you remember to put a cover page on your TPS report?

Order -> Chaos -> New Order

Manic! At the Citgo

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

I miss the days of naïvety and irrational confidence.

Is an increase in entropy considered to be more chaotic or less chaotic?

onomatopita: the use of imitative and naturally suggestive words for rhetorical, dramatic, or poetic effect about my Mediterranean bread.

This is beautiful. What is that? Velvet?!?

Catastrophic functionality equals graceful degradation

A circus of circumscribed circumstances

Alexa, play my favorite song. … … … 🎶 Para bailar La Bamba! 🎶

I’m a brick… Wah, Wah, Wah… House

I’m not superstitious. I’m just lucky.

Mycelium is Important for life on Earth But we are clueless

What if toddlers could fly?

Sure. Logic is great, but have we tried being completely irrational?

WWWDD (What would Willem Dafoe Do)

Thaco Thursday.

You can lead a horticulture, but…

Panic! At the Costco

People beware: Unicorns are assholes

My spirit animal is the Eastern Striped Bandicoot.

Ironically, the word “octonary” is my seventh favorite word.

You can fight gingivitis but you cannot fight peristalsis.

You do you, Boo.

We put too much faith in the Groundhog. I am afraid the groundhog does not know anything about the weather.

What is up with cilantro posts? Is the algorithm okay?

Scientific research is crucial to the economy! Federally funded scientific research drives innovation while creating new industries and jobs. Federally funded scientific research is a foundation for our modern economy. Private investment is too risk-averse to take on this important process.

I love the Golgi Apparatus. There. I said it.

I really hope the two wolves inside me are helpful in the post apocalyptic world.

Medical research is the lifeblood of innovation. Cutting funding to research stifles economic growth. www.unitedformedicalresearch.org/nih-in-your-...

Repost with your best apocalypse skill I’m really good with Excel. Wait…uh. I’m gonna need help.

What was Jane’s Addiction? Alcohol? Drugs? Sugar? Maybe she was just addicted to love. What say you, Robert Palmer?

The Unintentional Space Station