Every time I think about She Who Shall Not Be Named I feel a deep sense of shame and regret for ever being involved with her

Do not wear Balenciaga Stomper Boots in the snow

WE ARE BACK IN FUCKING BUSINESS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

And you would think for someone who spent half of last year playing golf, he’d have no problem following through.

I don’t have a witty caption, you get the idea

My 3060 died chat do I blow my fucking head off or what

#they will try to convince you that aliens came to Earth thousands of years ago and gifted the Egyptians the pyramids for no reason before they ever admit that it was built by Black people

Stranger Things is spiritually israeli

Do not invite me to your apartment if your baby’s father still got a key

I need advice from my writer friends I feel like I fucking suck

Came out to my mom, her response was “Yeah nigga, I know”

Nemway

Sometimes times are tough and you gotta break them roaches open like crab legs

“Don’t vote for Jasmine Crockett, she supports Israel” you dumbass niggas didn’t learn ANYTHING from the presidential election

Apparently ICE is running 24/7 social media surveillance now. Tell the whole administration they can suck my dick from the back.

Why Baltimore got wild serval cats now

Sydney Sweeney looks like Elon with titties

THE FUCKING POPE WAS ON THE ISLAND????

The lady at the dispensary must wanna fuck me cause wym you gave me an extra sev

Thought I was going crazy looking for my fabric scissors but actually my family took them without asking AND USED THEM TO CUT FUCKING NECK BONES FOR THE COLLARD GREENS I’M KILLING MYSELF

Shaved my weak ass beard and I finally look my age again ❤️‍🩹

As a former fetus I don’t care if people get abortions

Dude I used to work with started a clothing brand and I genuinely do not have the heart to tell him that shit is trash 💔

Charlie Kirk died 10 weeks ago but Erica Kirk announced she 8 weeks pregnant

I gotta tell my bestie, someone call my bestie 🗣️‼️

And speaking of magic what the fuck happened on the set of Wicked that resulted in Ariana and Cynthia crying and cuddling in every interview? Like I don’t wanna speculate on people’s mental health but they look like Anna Sisters

white women be saying shit like “we’re the grandchildren of the witches they couldn’t kill” all the time but let a nigga talk about Voodoo and all of a sudden we’re satanic and evil

Fun fact the actual reason you can’t go in the Vatican is because they’re hiding the body of Christ

Freaky Tarzan Sex

Yeah, whatever

Tried sleeping, woke up 7 minutes later mumbling about how “it’s simply not green” and I don’t even know what the dream was about

Nah bro don’t even worry about me I just keep myself awake by overthinking until I’m nauseous

Dawg TikTok be recommending me ANYTHING

If we fucking don’t call me no boring shit like “daddy” bitch call me Captain Nemo

ICP (Insane Clown Pussy)

wide girl winter

The crazy (actually not that crazy at all) part is that you can buy that cup without the starbucks branding for like $7 on alibaba, they’ve somehow tricked people into thinking a mass produced cup shaped like a bear is a rare luxury item with actual value

BLOCKED??

You’re gonna have to answer for this at the pearly gates btw

The republicans are making weed illegal again

> 27 years old, homeless > Doxxes themselves to a stranger they just met hours prior > Is scared of not meeting with stranger because he now has her dox > Accuses stranger of blackmail despite him never once holding her dox over her head