i told her that i didn’t like what she said and she told me that i’m not ugly and i know that im not ugly so why did it hurt my feelings? or ‘why im still stuck on that?’ i never got my apology but i did get a ‘maybe i’m sorry’ which didn’t make me feel better at all.

my mom just called me ugly and when i asked for an apology she said ‘for what?’ lol i guess she meant it jokingly but it hurt a lot to hear

recently she’s calling me spoiled, lazy, and greedy. it upsets me but idk what to say or do about it (i’m on my period maybe that’s why it’s bothering me) but i’m sensitive anyways so it’s whatever

i was telling my mom how my allergy medicine makes me hungry and how i don’t want to take it and she said ‘well you don’t eat everyday anyways’ 😭😭 i didn’t know she was paying THAT much attention to me.. she hasn’t even been home much recently i need to do better tbh

happy easter bffs <3 love u all to the moon n back 💗

i’ve been binging non stop i’ll never get to my goal. i haven’t lost any weight recently. gosh im really pathetic.

i need to find workout videos i actually like so i can do them at home bc there’s no way i can get a gym membership and go as much as i want

my mom currently agreed with me being 90-99 pounds! (though im sure ill go lower than that im happy with just the acceptance)

one day i truly believe that i’ll be underweight

my mom’s birthday is soon i wonder how ill get out of eating this time

happy valentine’s day 🫶🏾💗

wish everyone in my family weren’t a bunch of hotheads

it’s also disappointing cause she’ll call friends and talk about it and yell bc in the moment she’s upset but regrets telling them anything when she realizes she overreacted but she won’t apologize to me

we’re better now but i hate when she’s yelling it’s very upsetting and scary

she just yelled at me again cause i didn’t hear what she said but it’s bc my cousin was breathing loud in my ear while i was holding him & it’s so frustrating bc she wouldn’t repeat it & i know she hates repeating herself but i didn’t hear her

does ozempic cause mood issues like anger? cause she’s on it & i think that’s the problem

my mom is always yelling at me for no reason

i need an ed diary

being hungry is so embarrassing 😭 i hate it

just finishing a plate of food makes me sob (always leave leftovers even if it’s something really small)

my ana isn’t anaing like she should be 😭 i’ve been eating so much i haven’t even been getting steps in and i haven’t been doing anything but being fat and lazy

i haven’t been sleeping the best lately so my sleep schedule is off

i messed up telling my grandma and mom how much i wanted to weigh. my mom told me if i wanted to weigh that much i’d have to pack up my things and move in with my grandma and my grandma told me ‘i don’t want to be at an anorexic weight’ like what’s that supposed to mean? that’s crazy to me

THIS IS AWFUL LIKE WDYM IT CAN GET WORSE?????

ur not gonna believe this but im not 4’10 or 4’9 but 4’8.5 😭

update: i meant to say i did hit 10k i just took a nap and im still sleepy so i might go take another one after having some more water

i’m only at 5k rn & i know i’ll be 100% struggling trying to get to 20k as i’m having a hard time just trying to get 10k a day honestly idk why i put myself in situations like this

i think i’m going to raise my steps to 20k

she’s here 😞

im def going to keep saying 4’10 though cause it makes me feel better

WAIT did i tell u guys i learned that im not even 4’10 im 4’9 🧍🏾‍♀️

i need to get more sleep tonight i’m so sleepy

i hit 5k and i want to do more but idk when my mom’s coming home and if i call again she’ll say im being annoying and yell at me so idk yet

hi im sleepy again but ive gotten no steps in today (all i did was rot in bed) so im gonna try to get at least 5k while no one’s home 😔

i might sleep. i feel like im gonna pass out and my mom is taking forever to get here

i don’t want anyone to think i’m ungrateful 😭 as long as my walking pad works im definitely fine with the sound

i got to 10,008 now i’m gonna play sims and wait for my mom bc she was supposed to be here a long time ago

my head hurts so bad

i need 767 more steps to get to 10k which isn’t a lot i’m just sleepy so i’m focusing on that instead of walking which is why this is so hard today

im at 9k & i keep stopping bc i cant hear over my walking pad like its so loud so i keep thinking that shes here

i’ve been awake since last night i’m so sleepy rn

8196 is what i’m at now but i think i can get to 10k later

i talked to her and i think i can keep going until maybe 8000 but that’s really pushing it

i got to 6007 & i want to push myself to do more but my mom’s not answering the phone so i can ask where she is

took a break when i hit 4k to wash dishes now im gonna try to get to at least 6k cause getting to 10k before my mom comes back seems unrealistic but that’s the goal

pacing except i’m so sleepy but i feel like i need to do it because being sleepy is not an excuse to be lazy

don’t worry i won’t leave you in suspense i did binge

i’m having binge urges lol