Some people are worried about flock cameras - this guy posted himself on Google Earth 🌐

Pussy so good it gives you cotton mouth 😑🫧

[bragging] I've never had a dog that needed a haircut or any other form of professional grooming.

Horses have a long face because people keep putting them down.

Superman used to jerk off really quick when he was changing in phone booths so the government took them away.

All of the fake Florida headlines are believable.

people be dancing to songs that have lyrics like, "I'm gonna fuck you in the mouth..🎶" 💃✨️🕺

I'm already out of fireworks

Being punched in the face should be a graduation requirement 🎓🤦‍♂️

This was the least gay pride month ever.

Nothing feels better than taking a big healthy crap 💩 The ones that make you feel like you've lost weight 💪

I have made no deals with Iran

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat 🤡

I've already got my survival kit ready for when California finally falls to socialism 😎✌️

[Death of a website] Oh neat we have group chats now

Give a straight guy a blow job #pride 🏳️‍🌈

it's right there on the box

I'm thinking about buying a gun to play with for those days when it's too windy to fly my drone.

馬から鷺鳥の衣を脱ぐ

We are living in a meme

The Pentagon released a batch of UFO/UAP files today. They include 162+ redacted photos, videos, and documents from Apollo era to 2025. There is NO EVIDENCE of aliens or extraterrestrial tech. View at war.gov/UFO/. 👽🛸

1 second after the K9 turns away, the dude runs out with a fully assembled shotgun that nobody noticed? I'm calling bullshit.

I'm going to be rich 💰

If you're ever feeling lonely, just open Uber Eats but don't order anything. That way, the app will keep sending you messages like, Yo! You wanna grab some dinner?

This is all just to distract us from the fake Artemis II mission and ufo/ uso/ alien disclosure 📑

indica 💨

“Along the way, we broke a lot of toilets and, by my estimate, used more than 950,000 doses of Emodium. But I am not saying that we have a problem." - Gen. Dan Caine, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Imagine working all day just to pay for your snacks 😑🫧

He's talking about jerk'n off

If your story starts with when and where you were born, I don't want to hear it.

People will claim that this is AI

meme

It's a good thing Jesus didn't come back (again) today and catch you doing it (again) today.

I started buying 16oz bars of chocolate when they were only $0.25 ea. 💰💰💰

Bill Clinton spent more than that on blow (allegedly).

No one will ever be held accountable, and the money will just be gone. 📑 www.cbsnews.com/news/congres...

The internet is a psyop 🌐

jfc

I'll just eat red meat tomorrow

Today, I ate red meat for the last time.

Problem solved

Gas is $9.69 a gallon in Sacramento California today 🌤

🧩Zilla Entertainment presents

In case you missed it

I'm suspended from Twitter again for stating a fact.

I just turned my clocks gay.

Don't go in the basement