I can't stand the sound of my voice--admittedly, this makes for an awkward classroom (&, admittedly, students would tend to believe I do, as well as the smell of my farts)--which is why he'd appreciate it if you'd listen to the sound of his voice so he doesn't have to. youtube.com/shorts/HtJab...

Here's to Will Flemming dropping the f-bomb live on WEEI!

My kids seem to think that Talking Heads and Radiohead are somehow related. (And they prefer my Thom Yorke warbling over my David Byrne drone.)

Just got some good news, news so good that my hands are shaking so badd iiIIii cannntttt hhhharrrrrdllllllyyy twywww.wppp.p . p

Just hand Whitehead another Pulitzer.

Slopontifex

Please Winnipegers, take a seat at McNally Robinson tonight, because I can't join you. And you know what, please leave a seat open for me -- just imagine I'm there in spirit!

Honest-to-God don't know how to teach Creative Writing tonight. "Try out this prompt--try not to think about genocide," "Let's workshop this! Btw, bombs are dropping on 90mill people," "Anne Sexton said this about revision: 'Trump's cradling the nuclear football the way he wishes his dad held him'."

"And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight. And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?" Luke 24:31-32.

Spent the weekend flipping through childhood baseball cards to write this--problem is, I'm not sure it's actually a poem.

Want to talk perverse incentive? After a phone conversation where dad told me about his emergency heart surgery, I hung up and ran 21K.

I wholeheartedly agree with most of Lewis's opinions and positions, which is how I know the NDP's washed.

It's opening day, and I'm ~80 pretty good pages into a poetry manuscript presently titled "Baseball Almanac for the Unathletic" -- let's play ball!

The chiropractor sheepishly confessed that she once tried standup, and even built a five-minute act, and I assured her I don't trust anyone who's never tried standup.

I've circled the sun 46 times, and I've learned one thing for certain from all those years on this planet: people wearing Mountain Equipment Coop gear think they’re better than me.

The 8yo's painting a lovely pastoral scene, and he's whispering narration while doing so, because that's what Bob Ross does.

The Slop of War

Have quite literally never been happier to be a British* Columbian** * I'm in no way at all British ** I'm also in no way related to Christopher Columbus

The 10yo, just now: “Dad, if I start a podcast, then would you let me swear?”

Only cried twice during Taylor Tomlinson's new special, so yeah, my religious trauma's going along great.

Every time Poilievre opens his gob, Canadians must be thinking, "Trump? No, we don't need more Trump. We already have Trump at home."

Can you fathom the complete cognitive dissonance of an Alberta separatist right now?

The Red Sox front office understands they have to bat at least 27 times a game, right?

I've been digging Vigil well enough, but while reading it, I can't shake the thought that the very style that makes Lincoln in the Bardo work is dragging this one down. Like, Saunders' ability to wrong-foot readers in Lincoln puts us on entirely the wrong footing in Vigil.

If Epstein’s emails have taught us anything, it’s that the Christmas Adventurers are real as hell.

With the Red Sox ownership, it's salary dumps all the way down.

Struggles to believe that last night, some 87.5% of Conservatives assembled in Calgary voted in support of a leader who's salivating at the prospect of licking every last jackboot in the White House. Like, he would so blithely spit and polish every square inch of leather there.

I wasn't a bright kid, so I was ridiculously exited to visit Minneapolis because I thought that's where Superman lived. Turns out I wasn't all that wrong -- there are so many People of Steel living in that city.

Speaking as a Mennonite and a former Winklerite, I'm pretty convinced the last thing anybody needs is a Christian Heritage Month. And I would daresay that my forebears would be appalled by the thought of such a performative display of faith.

No, YOU just wasted 20 minutes on ebay mulling whether it's worth spending $20 on an autographed rookie card of the only big-league ballplayer to ever come out of your hometown.

Am beginning to worry I only live an hour away from a rogue state.

Looking for a reason to believe this year will be better than the last.

Are your spoiled kids bored during the holidays? Hit play on Philip Glass’s Einstein on the Beach and watch them lose grip on reality when the choir repeats 6-7.

I haven't done anything teaching related for 5 days, 21 hours, and 21 minutes, but every few minutes my adrenal glands pump a little cortisol, motivating me to, what, grade non-existent assignments?

Haven't yet had the chance to see Marty Supreme, but I'm listening to the Daniel Lopatin soundtrack while doing some Christmas dishes, and, yep, this is for sure what a panic attack sounds like.

Not as much yelling today as Christmases of yore -- oh well, I suppose there's time.

And the Extra-Terrestrial, who did NOT die . . .

Just hung the stockings by the chimney carelessly.

NAtHAN ... ... ... (The joke is I have low-T.)

"With tinsel in the air, Mary looked upon the young child with a sparkle in his smile, and lo, Joseph knew they had to return to the city called Nazareth. 1/2

I left page proofs lying around, and the 10yo picked them up. It was genuinely gratifying to overhear him chuckle while reading a few pages, but it was considerably less gratifying that he had some notes.

You can't spell fascism without AI.

I spend altogether far too much time factchecking my memories.

Felt the ultraviolet warmth of God smiling when I poured eggnog into a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[Sincerity Alert] The last time I saw my grandma, she chuckled at the bright green-and-red cap I was wearing, & she asked to try it on. In the spirit of the season, I'm wearing it today, & I just discovered a silver hair tucked into the band. Sometimes life shows you a little mercy [Sincerity Alert]

Je me souviens.

I find myself singing "So Long, Frank Ge-hr-y" to the tune of "So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright" right now.

Momentarily pondered tossing a handful of Advils into the coffee pot this morning — in case you’re wondering how the end of term is going.

One Battle After Another's a Christmas movie, you cowards!

Remastering the Beatles Anthology in HD deepens the dusty-rose splendor of Paul McCartney's interior decorating, but it also sharpens the hair curling out of George Martin's left nostril. 4K may have been a mistake.