Hell plays hold music nonstop. Hell makes you wear shirts with itchy tags at both the neck and the waist. Hell puts you in a room with your most obnoxious exes. Hell gives you a painful zit in a different location each day. When Hell decides to make you miserable, it has ideas beyond brimstone.

I moved into a 1917 era house. It’s all white inside. Every. Single. Wall. It makes me uncomfortable, like a Siberian storm of paint. I also am feeling pressure to pick just the right colors to bring it all to life, like when Dorothy sees Oz.

Kristi Noem might be humiliated at her public firing by Trump, but she should be glad that he didn’t shoot her in the face for being untrainable.

The interesting thing about the election in Arkansas is that several people that Sarah Huckabee Sanders supported got totally spanked. She should be worried about her own political neck.

If Barron Trump were so inclined, he could take advantage of his dual citizenship and skedaddle to Slovenia, where there is no mandatory draft.

When is Congress going to reclaim its constitutional authority and make Trump stay in his lane?

Melania in front of a Congressional committee: I am not knowing anyone named Jeffrey. Have you noticed my shoes? I love my shoes!

I am glad that I will never have to listen to an in person address by Trump.

Anyone who is serious about being an assassin knows where the target is at all times, according to the movies I’ve seen.

You know an outcome in court is fair if both sides are pissed off.

Men who fall asleep in under a minute marry women who toss and turn for hours. Those men are lucky not to be suffocated by a pillow nightly.

The first time you see a description of someone *younger* than you as “elderly” is a new kind of pain.

Every day there is more horror movie type stuff coming out about Epstein and his cronies. Hell itself doesn’t want to be associated with this level of evil.

You are lovable. You deserve the biggest Valentine’s card in the pack, with all the glitter. That special card is all for you.

You are never prepared for the death of your mother.

As an attorney, I can confirm that if I acted like Pam Bondi in court, the judge would have the bailiff haul me off to jail. And I would deserve it.

Now is the time for anyone with an eidetic memory to reach out to your Congressional representative to assist with reviewing the Epstein documents.

All the people saying “I didn’t understand a word” about Bad Bunny should think back to 1958, when “La Bamba” by Ritchie Valens became the first Spanish language hit record. For context, this year was the height of the desegregation process, NASA was created, and Alaska became a state.

It’s amazing how triggered certain groups are over Bad Bunny. Realistically, white English-only speakers are the demographic most likely to shrink in the coming years.

Apparently, the owner of the Patriots is on Team MAGA, which makes it easy to hope for a Seahawks win.

People who think that Trump’s racist video is great are absolutely 100% disgusting.

The downside of family law: seeing how much people suck when dealing the people they supposedly love. Downside of probate law: seeing how the people who supposedly loved you are only interested in what they get now that you’re dead.

It feels so wrong for men of Hispanic descent to work for ICE arresting people who could be their distant relatives.

I am absolutely not interested in what “celebrities” wear, or what they do not wear. I think if they all showed up buck naked per recent trends, fashion designers and stylists might be the only ones who care.

I just saw my delivery guy test my screen door to make sure it could open and allow me to get my package. I wish they could all be that thoughtful!

There are ways to trip up facial recognition software. Use makeup effects and neon colors to make your face asymmetrical. The systems hone in on your nose, so adhere beads on your bridge, and grow out your bangs. Wear clothing printed with real faces. I am sure you can think of worthy candidates.

I remember my grandmother setting up an ironing board and doing every piece of laundry, even my granddad’s underwear. Me? I know I own an iron, but have no idea where it is. My dryer is my wrinkle remover. I think this is a sign of progress for women. Time is valuable.

Tom Homan is almost Human, which is the closest he can be to it.

I am always floored by the people who want to know which coffee shops, restaurants and stores are open the morning after several inches of snow and ice coated the streets overnight.

The type of man who is interested in working for ICE tells you exactly what is wrong with ICE.

What kind of execution by ICE would finally be a breaking point for MAGA? A 6 year-old? A pregnant woman? Someone in a wheelchair? A Republican Senator? A nun? What life would be of value?

The government does not like the First Amendment. Murder should not be the direct outcome of that.

My husband was flipping through channels, and I heard an elderly sounding man talking. I looked up and realized it was Trump! I remarked on how I didn’t recognize him because he sounded so weak.

We are expecting a snowpocalypse this weekend, which means that you can’t find milk, eggs, or packages of chicken. This last one is a new, and inexplicable, shortage. I knew better than to look at the toilet paper aisle, and I assume that it was a wasteland.

Trump is out of town. Can we lock the doors and pretend we aren’t here? Maybe he will go away…

I just watched The Rip. Much as I enjoyed seeing Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Kyle Chandler, my heart was stolen by the handsome and charismatic Wilbur.

Tom Cotton is running scared. I, and many others in Arkansas, received a text yesterday attacking his opponent, Hallie Shoffner. I really hope that she wins.

Regarding the Nobel Prize presentation to Trump by Machado: because that was a gift to a President, federal law dictates that it belongs to the National Archives, not to Trump personally. He is still a loser.

Someday her Nobel Prize will be returned to her by a real president.

More people need to film Trump to catch him doing things like flipping off American citizens. We need to be citizen reporters against this administration.

If a certain someone were to pass away, I think the administration would delay sharing that news as long as possible.

It helps if you realize that you are about to get to court an hour early and turn around before you get there.

I have seen a rap sheet going around purportedly that of Renee Good with lots of charges. It’s a fake. It has the wrong birthdate. All she had was a traffic ticket in 2012. Don’t let the MAGA liars smear her.

I will say it again: filming ICE is an excellent idea. Don’t do it with your phone, though. You don’t want the officer to take it or break it. Also, holding it robs you of the use of a hand. Instead you should use cameras that attach to your clothes or are otherwise concealed.

If an ICE agent kills me, know that I plan to haunt that guy forever. He would never have a peaceful night sleep, uninterrupted sex, or a moment without feeling my presence.

It’s amazing how what you can see with your own eyes is subject to spin and lies.

Nostradamus: “In the Palace the people shall be caught, And by a good Sign the City shall be besieged". This one caught my attention with the death of Renee Nicole Good. “The Palace”could be the US Capitol on Jan. 6.

ICE is way too eager to kill people, whether they are in custody or not.

Starting Feb. 1, Arkansas prisoners will no longer be able to receive books mailed to them. I understand that it was a method of sending drugs, but better screening methods would be a better solution.

I am not the type of person to want someone dead, but I would certainly not participate in a day of mourning.