I am trying to break your heart.

It's so exciting to be staying on Chicago's magnificent Miracle Mile, not because it's anything out of the ordinary, but because Oprah mentioned it everyday at the end of each episode.

No, I will not be getting work back to you from the plane as that would violate my strict personal no-wifi when flying policy so that I have some fucking peace in my life for a couple consecutive hours every once in a while. 🥰

MIcrodose it like Body Talk. Get us to midterms, queen.

One thing we've learned in the last 12 hours: The Sinclair-Nexstar ban on Kimmel, in terms of his reach, means nothing in an era when late-night shows have an afterlife or simultaneous life on streaming. Kimmel's average audience is 1.6M. On YouTube, last night's monologue is already at 8.4M views.

Let’s go Phillies, ok?

Urkel voice: "Did I do that?"

The idiots I went to high school with who barely finished a book before graduating are spending their pre-rapture morning doling out their own unsolicited medical advice to pregnant women. Thank god for social media.

This reminds me of the time that the entire concept of MEAT sued Oprah, and she had to move her show to Texas. I wonder if the concept of PAIN RELIEF has the standing to sue here.

I am loathe to give Disney Adults credit for anything, but I will because many of them went ahead and pressed unsubscribe when the going got tough. Can't say the same for Harry Potter Adults.

I hope we can still punish Disney a bit more though.

Listing people alphabetically by first name should not be protected speech.

Is the Rapture happening this week? I have to be in Chicago on Thursday for a long weekend conference, and I should probably making some Left Behind arrangements just in case.

I kind of hate the turn Project Runway has taken to be more about workroom conflict than finished products, but I also think Veejay should be the first Project Runway contestant to be on The Traitors.

Last day of summer, so a little bit of autumnal decor and pumpkin chocolate chip cake for everyone.

Field goals do be getting blocked today.

LMAOOOOOOO holy fuck Eagles. #FLYEaglesFly

Despite every signal from the world, I did make myself move today.

Actually have one of these this week. #LastFourWatched

Not to be controversial, but this week has absolutely beat me the fuck up.

I'd call this a betrayal to their queer colleagues if there weren't already a couple of them on this list. 🥰

Even as a local leader with only slight levels of renown, I’ve encountered people losing their minds about who they think I am in the most bizarre ways.

Finally joined the Criterion Channel to have something to immerse myself in that is not the very problematic *everything else.*

Don't you DARE fucking talk to me until I've found out what Ezra Klein is worried about today!

Love to wake up feeling like shit about the world everyday and then spending the first couple moments being awake trying to locate the exact reason why. ("Oh yeah, Jimmy Kimmel freedom of speech stuff. Damn.")

Looking forward to hearing about bipartisan solutions to this and this being an example of "how we all need to live together."

Does Ezra Klein have any group chats? Ezra Klein needs a group chat.

The Fetterman primary cannot come soon enough.

Redford was always too handsome for this mortal world tbh.

You cannot understand how many people in my life have posted the Hannah Einbinder clip. As a left of center Philly person, my social media is just a strobe light of her telling that story in 6 words.

A lot of people were understandably quite shaken by "Go Birds" culture in a mainstream space last night.

Guess I have to suck it up as a person of squeamish experience and finally watch The Pitt.

One of the first signs I was gay was making up excuses for Tony Goldwyn's behavior as the villain in Ghost just because he was super hot.

Shoutouts to Executives is kind of the whole plot of The Studio, so that speech felt appropriate.

Mr. Amy Grant will be way too woke for CBS this time next year.

She's a very sexy baby.

God, I'm still so Gilmore-pilled.

a fucking true eagles fan.

So wild how the coolness of these Emmy winners is directly disproportionate to the funniness of all the bits.

It seems fairly obvious that the full amount of money will be donated no matter what, but given we're living in an era where essential programs and institutions left and right are being gutted and having their funding rescinded (*ahem*), this is in the poorest of taste, and worse: it ain't funny!

It's also hilarious to think that the president would actually spend even 30 seconds anywhere near Middle America conservative culture.

JEFF HILLER WON A FUCKING EMMYYYYYY?!?!?!?!

People might not remember the early GWBush era when we had to countrify everything in culture for a minute to stick it to coastal elites, and I fear we are here again, even deeper. Remember that when it comes to midterms, folks.

Finally, Philadelphia Eagles superfan Hannah Einbinder wins a deserved Emmy!

Golden Girls 40 years later is still funnier than any comedy nominated tonight.

Please know that Katherine LaNasa has been married to: - Dennis Hopper - French Stewart - Grant Show Girl has range.

Threatening to take away money from a charity to cut back on the best part of any awards show...oh, CBS is already leaning into the Bari Weiss era.

Seth Rogen seems like such a nice guy. I wish I liked The Studio!

Fly Eagles Fly and all that.

Twinless is so good for many reasons: A movie for adults that makes you think! Life is really sad and hilarious at the same time! Damaged gay people live in more places than NY and LA! All unhinged reactions to Dylan O’Brien are valid! The loneliness epidemic is not limited to straight incels!