Looking to stand out from the crowded New England travel market, Discover Gloucester and the Greater Cape Ann Chamber of Commerce have launched a tourism rebrand based on a new nickname for the city, urging potential visitors to “Come Find the G-Spot.”

One candidate will lead Gloucester into its next chapter. But both, it seems, are fully prepared for the unique challenge and charm that comes with being America’s Oldest Seaport.

With the leaves starting to hit the ground, the Town of Rockport reminds residents of their mandatory blower duties.

The ordinance, which bans skeletons from being posed in “seductive, suggestive, or scandalously straddling positions,” comes after a series of complaints from residents who claimed the displays were “inappropriate for family neighborhoods” and “awakened something strange inside them.”

The Board of Selectmen is expected to hold a closed-door meeting to determine whether an open-door meeting is warranted to address the matter.

As the sun rose over Cape Ann on Wednesday morning and the world remained distinctly unraptured, local residents expressed a mix of relief, frustration, and mild confusion at the failure of the much-discussed September 23, 2025 rapture prophecy to deliver on its apocalyptic promises.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, September 19

Dozens gathered by the Gloucester Fishermen’s Memorial for a somber candlelight vigil Sunday evening to mourn the sudden closure of the beloved Wendy’s location in Gloucester.

“We never knew we would be this successful, but we’re honored to serve this community,” said Chief. “And we promise to keep doing what we do best: blurring the line between absurdity and reality — which, on Cape Ann, is thinner than you’d think.”

“I’m just relieved this is the weirdest thing happening in Gloucester right now,” said onlooker Lynda Carbone, sipping a Dunks iced regular. “Like, let’s just let this be the headline for a bit. Please.”

With rumors, scandals, and persistent administrative troubles rocking the race for mayor, candidate Paul Lundberg has officially entered crisis mode — not because of a scandal, but because of the lack of one.

Tensions erupted Monday morning as a host led by the Salem Witch Museum launched a full-scale siege against Gloucester’s historic Hammond Castle. The assault marks a dramatic escalation in the long-standing feud between the rival North Shore tourist attractions.

Ocean Alliance announced Monday that it would abandon its environmental restoration efforts at the historic Tarr and Wonson Paint Manufactory on Rocky Neck in favor of a new vision: a coal-burning power plant and open-air waste disposal facility.

As part of Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s “Make America Healthy Again" campaign, the U.S. Surgeon General released new guidance this week encouraging citizens to consume at least ten pounds of fried shrimp per week, citing the benefits of seafood.

Our trash situation? It’s out of control. Torn up purple bags across town, the scent of stale clam chowder and discarded prophylactics wafting past City Hall — it’s an affront to decency. What’s really going on? Is it just a labor dispute, municipal mismanagement, or something far more insidious?

“He may be small in stature, but he’s got big ideas,” the taller Lundberg said. “If Gloucester is going to thrive, we need both full-size vision and pocket-sized practicality.”

The DPW yard on Poplar St. has seen its share of oddities this summer as the Republic Services labor strike nears one month, but nothing prepared residents for the sight of Marvin — a living, breathing, oddly wise mound of trash believed to be the child of Marjory the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, July 25

In a 7-2 vote Tuesday night, the Gloucester City Council approved a $666,000 loan order to fund the design and installation of a bronze statue of the late heavy metal icon Ozzy Osbourne, to be placed in Grant Circle at the entrance to Gloucester.

Scandal is rocking Cape Ann after a local photographer captured the Man at the Wheel and Our Lady of Good Voyage locked in what appeared to be a passionate — but poorly timed — embrace at the Cape Ann Big Band concert this weekend.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, July 18

The show follows Annie, a washed-up cruise ship singer turned townie, as she careens through a whirlwind of local feuds, small-town entanglements, and brushes with the supernatural.

“I’ve been described as ‘blighted, decadent, and substandard,’” the lot said. “Which, to be fair, in Gloucester is a pretty common personality profile.”

Thanks Obama.

With garbage collection delayed, canceled, or up in the air — depending on the hour — throughout Cape Ann due to the recent sanitation workers’ strike, the City of Gloucester has announced a groundbreaking new initiative: transitioning the local economy to a fully trash-based system.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, July 4

Happy Independence Day! Here's a look at some of The Dogtown Reader's favorite floats from this year's Gloucester Horribles Parade.

The decision to introduce the category comes after years of informal but increasingly competitive noise wars between parade participants, with organizers hoping to channel that energy into a more “constructive” form of chaos.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, June 27

As Fiesta season swells like a tide of prosciutto and reverence, I find myself asking life’s big questions: What is tradition? Whose car keys are these? Where is Crab Beach? And most importantly, if St. Peter were a Pokémon, which one would he be?

NEW — LEGO releases Greasy Pole set as part of a limited run of Massachusetts-themed LEGO sets to celebrate the opening of the company’s new U.S. headquarters in Boston. Now available exclusively at Fake Toys dot com.

Every June, the people of Gloucester emerge from their winter dens and begin yelling again — but this time it’s festive. That’s because of St. Peter’s Fiesta, a five-day celebration of Catholicism, community, and extremely preventable concussions.

St. Peter's Fiesta Word Search: A Dogtown Reader exclusive!

Organizers of the St. Peter’s Fiesta have announced that this year’s Greasy Pole competitors will be subject to strict drug and alcohol testing to ensure they are sufficiently inebriated before attempting to walk the 40-foot long pole.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, June 20

In a turn that no one — least of all the city administration — saw coming, the very teenagers once scorned for popping wheelies in the middle of Rogers Street traffic have now become Gloucester’s newest and most ironic startup: Bike Taxis for Beach Tourists.

In what’s being described as “a shocking development in local memory,” volunteers at the Cape Ann Amateur Historical Society this week uncovered evidence that Black residents lived in Gloucester well before 1990.

Move over stuffed lobsters and Motif #1 snowglobes — there’s a new souvenir in town. Unveiled last week in a soft-launch no one authorized, the Cape Annimals™ have taken over the tourist economy with all the swagger of a pop-up gallery and none of the permits.

“We’re not saying you have to buy a $20 pin,” said Fiesta finance committee member Joe Denaro, quietly holding out a card reader. “But St. Peter is holding the keys to heaven.”

With pomp, pageantry, and a suspicious number of footlockers labeled “LIVE AMMO — DO NOT OPEN UNTIL ORDERED,” British troops began arriving in Gloucester this week ahead of the 250th anniversary reenactment of the Battle of Bunker Hill, set to take place on June 21 and 22 at Stage Fort Park.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, June 13

A well-intentioned Pride Month proclamation has sparked unexpected activity along Bearskin Neck this week, after town officials declared the historic street a “sanctuary for bears of all kinds.”

"Don't you know who I am?"

Once again, a certain corner of Facebook has decided it’s time to squawk about the purple bags. I’ve seen the posts — people calling for bins, barrels, and “real trash solutions.” But I’d argue we already have something real, something authentic, something… gloriously vulnerable.

Don’t know what to read in between seagull attacks at the beach this summer? Here are eight unputdownable books that you won’t find at the Sawyer Free Library or The Bookstore of Gloucester.

What begins as a charming stroll through the granite legacy of Cape Ann has, according to growing numbers of visitors, turned into an unrelenting avalanche of geology-based puns, courtesy of the enthusiastic rangers leading the “When Granite Was King!” tours at Halibut Point State Park.

In news taken from the logs of Cape Ann’s police and fire departments: Friday, June 6

Tensions rose Thursday morning as the elusive and possibly fictional entity known as Mowana was allegedly sighted approaching the Boulevard in a “pretty pink boat, sailor style ookay,” according to a note that accompanied an anonymous package delivered to The Dogtown Reader.

The quote from Franklin Delano Roosevelt featured beneath the 1934 mural, “Build not for today alone, but for tomorrow as well,” has been replaced with the quote, “Build not for today, or tomorrow. Just don’t build.”

In an effort to protect one of Cape Ann’s most misunderstood creatures, Cape Ann Animal Aid has officially launched its newest initiative: a barnacle rehoming program for those displaced during annual spring boat cleanings.