I will not tolerate this remaining in British hands. Am going full-Stephen-Decatur. Patriots assemble!!! We sail on INDEPENDENCE DAY. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Hate, piety, and patriotism are all born of the same thick urge: The bilge water of terror, the sick-yellow sump we crouch at in the night, bright-eyed evil stalking outside a circle of traps and torches, while we squat pleading

If I’m honest, the Cambrian Explosion was a mistake.

If 1000 J6 rioters each get a million dollars from this slush fund, 998 of them will be bankrupt in 18 months. I say this is worth it for the schadenfreude.

I am bitter, strange, and violent A lungful of smoke Held quaking in the savage calm I cultivate at the forestep of impending How long can I tremble on the red limned edge of rage

Are you kidding? This is the best news ever. Toxically masculine dipshits injecting nonsterile fluids directly into their reproductive organs? It’s perfect. Bring on the Fournier’s gangrene!

The Trump administration is teaceably responsible for millions of deaths, of disease and malnutrition, due to the elimination of aid with no structure to replace it. I applaud their acceleration of humanity’s population decline, and look forward to a greener Earth for my grandcubs.

Listen up, dipshits, ive solved science funding. Every October 1st, i will send invites to the 16,000 best scientists in America. You will gather in a major domed stadium. And I will drop $53B from the ceiling. After that, it’s up to you to fund your labs.

You know what’s better than an LLM? What if I told you you have a tool right now that could ingest the world‘s great works of literature, science, history, and art, and then you could use those to generate new ideas anytime you wanted? Furthermore, it’s free.

It’s a shame that nobody manages the lactation of donkeys, so that we could say I want a nice cold glass of ass milk.

Never. Never. Let an opportunity to fuck with a friend pass by. @chrispickett5.bsky.social get ready for the replyallpocalypse for the END TIMES.

This graph is unclear, obviously but there is a profoundly muddleheaded understanding of the word “excels” for something that is correct 52% of the time. Yes, the other models seem to be astonishingly bad but “usually beats a coin flip by a small margin” is not worth crowing about.

When someone accuses you of shaming them, they are saying: “I am already ashamed of this and I don’t want you to know it or see it.” You cannot shame someone for something they don’t think is shameworthy. It doesn’t work, it rolls off of them. But if they feel shame they despise? They attack.

When I am president, and god forbid one day I should be, this entire administration would be extradited to Iran to face justice.

Ok. The “Five nights on Epstein island” game. Ready? Here’s the take: So fucking what. Is it offensive? Yeah. Is it desensitizing your kids to sexual abuse? No. If one of the bear cubs were playing would I have a convo? Yes. Would I worry for their soul? No. Get over it. Moral panic unjustified.

OMGOMGOMG I HAVE A PENDING CASE STUDY INTHE NEJM!! “Mrs Dr Bear, unable to find tahini, asserts there was no more. Mr Dr Bear glances at pantry, finds immediately.”

And I want to be clear here: I’m not just talking about spiritual faith. Having faith in anything is bullshit. Even your fellows. If you don’t have evidence, a pattern? Don’t trust it. Don’t believe in it. If it’s supported by a stable track record it isn’t faith. It’s statistics.

Can we maybe finally admit that all faith is toxic, all religion is divisive, and ideologies inevitably drive salvageable people to commit vile atrocities? No? All right keep killing each other, dipshits.

HAPPY PURGE DAY!!! Jesus is dead today, so all sin is legal.

Nothing lives rent free in my head. Every last thought I have pays rent. This is why you’re still living at home, Gen Z.

Happy Successful Operation to Execute the False Messiah Day to all who celebrate.

On this most holy of holidays I would like to remind everyone to shut the fuck up and leave the jokes to the professionals. Your idea isn’t funny or clever.

Buy this book or I swear to fucking god I will tank your next submission at study section. I will slaughter your lab assistants. I will poach your department’s best-funded associate professor. I will overturn every dumpster on your campus.

I’m old enough to recall when being a war profiteer made you a pig fucking outcast, not a savvy investor.

If you listen to … anything … sped up? Like a podcast at 1.5x or whatever? Your soul has already fled to the broiling sulfur caves of Hades.

They who lay slain Atop a crimson mount of wasted glory Nevertheless made devoted efforts Heroes of the causeless age Martyrs to the mouth Filled with cottonwool lies Lament them if you can But only as you lament us all The engine of a rudderless leviathan

Newsome has dyslexia - a learning disability which can in most cases be completely overcome with support and effort. Trump has stupidity, which is intractable.

The plan seems to be to destroy the funding of current investigators, get them to disperse from academic science, and then force universities to hire more acceptable ideologues.

Yes. One thing. I will not be wearing green and if you pinch me or even make a stupid pinchy-finger gesture at me, so help me god there will not be enough left of you to scrape into a shoebox for a dignified funeral. And whatever pink slime *is* left will be covered in bear shit.

Okay sure, but if your trolley problem is ALSO my double slit experiment? My trolley wave will defeat your victim quanta EVERY SINGLE TIME motherfuckers.

The new Buffalo Wild Wings Protein-Buffalo Sauce-Espresso-Martini! For people who want a drink that reflects the chaos of their relationship and financial status! “Are you underwater on your F150 Black Ops? Did your hooker ghost you? Come have a yard of vile, nauseous swill!”

Graham is telling the truth here. No member of the GOP knows more about blowing people.

Or the name of a part time clown who buries his victims in the crawl space.

You know, a name like “Markwayne” does not inspire a lot of confidence in his educational upbringing. That’s a name bestowed by parents who never saw the inside of a classroom after 6th grade.

Hey MAGA, you know if they go after birth control, even the few women who currently enjoy slumming it enough to fuck you are gonna quit. No one wants to raise your half-wit illiterate spawn, and no one wants to engage with the civil court system to compel your piddly child support.

I was not consulted and as such cannot verify the quality of this article.

Look doucheknuckle, it’s not a genocide just because no one wants to fuck you. No question men are getting left behind in America today. But the REASON for most of it is they’re sitting in the middle of the road kicking and screaming, “I don wanna go!!!!!” Well fine. The adults will be over here.

Constitutional amendments I want to see: 1. POTUS cannot pardon Exec Branch individuals for crimes during admin 2. POTUS cannot remove any senate-confirmed positions w/o senateapproval 3. AG appointed funded by SCOTUS, confirmed by senate 4. Fed chair nominated by Board of Govs confirmed by senate

The other thing we all need to be preparing to do is sue for wrongful arrest when kidnapped by immigration agents. Plan your legal strategy now, organize with lawyers who can file. Make it cost.

Whistles are great. You know what’s better? Drone-mounted nautical air horns.

I fought fire with nothing I stood in the pain Sucked soulless and haggard But you don’t defeat the fire when you smother it

If you have a tricked out, “black ops“ branded hundred thousand dollar pick up truck? I really only know two things about you. One. You are in deep debt. Two. You are terrified that your dick is tiny.

When law enforcement uses deadly force, if there is not an independent investigation and administrative leave there during? Regardless of justification. You don’t have law enforcement. You have death squads.

Also: get some fucking drones people. They can’t confiscate your footage if they don’t know who is live-streaming from an overhead drone. You can stay further from the blast zone and the footage is in the cloud immediately.

Hey look, Bovino gets to learn what it’s like to be shit out of the bottom of a fascist machine. The machine is still operational, make no mistake. Every last one of them needs to be extracted from public office, and tried for conspiracy to commit sedition and murder. Every member of the GOP.

The time will one day come when members of this administration are tried for conspiracy to commit murder. They should have a zealous defense, and able representation. And when and if they are found guilty, they should serve their sentences in genpop.

People are reasonably afraid of being out on lists for trailing federal agents. Y’all know drones exist, right?

The Mexican special forces are gonna come for Mrs. Dr. Bear.

Apropos of nothing, I might casually mention that Switzerland was neutral in WWII. Kind of problematically so. And also, they mostly speak German. Just. As a point of general interest.

100% okay to celebrate when garbage people die. May his heirs enjoy his fortune. 🎊🎉🎊