A reader wants to know about the difference between "Can I get" and "May I have" when ordering at a restaurant. One is Perfectly Proper, one is not. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners

A helpful history of Memorial Day, from its beginnings as a day to honor Civil War dead to the official marker of the start of summer.

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper Memorial Day. You may now take out your white shoes with Perfect Propriety.

Today Etiquetteer explores hurt feelings when friends who are also clients go elsewhere for business, and whether or not we really have to observe #StrawHatDay. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #strawboater #hats #bowtie #friendship #clients #feelings

What happens when you're invited to a wedding via a neglected social media account? Etiquetteer discusses online invitations, and bridal consideration for the less tech-savvy on the guest list. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #weddings #socialmedia

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a #PerfectlyProper #strawhatday.

So many people are talking about pockets and seams visible through white linen trousers, Etiquetteer is adding his voice to the chorus. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026...

When enjoying a meal with friends, the best time to ask a question is NOT the moment between biting and chewing. Fill in with your own chatter until it looks like they’re about to swallow and then start your question. #etiquette #manners #tablemanners #conversation

Once again, the movies have not guided us correctly in the ways of Perfect Propriety. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #allabouteve #wine #crackthatlittlegnomeonthenogginwithabottle

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper Mother's Day with this gentle admonition to be kind to those for whom it isn't really a great day: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2024... #etiquette #manners #mothersday #laurahopecrews #thesilvercord

An incident on the @mbta.com yesterday led Etiquetteer to ruminate on subway #manners: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #situpstraight #respect #publictransportation

For the conclusion of National Card and Letter Writing Month, Etiquetteer exhorts you all to put pen to paper for someone you love: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #nationalcardandletterwritingmonth #correspondence

Today Etiquetteer covers a couple issues around #restaurant #dining. What do you do if you're stuck at a place with small plates? Please share your own thoughts in the comments. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper National Tea Day (in the United Kingdom). So here's a quote of the day for you: "Tea is a rite to be quietly observed, not a party at which to have a high old time." — #ClevelandAmory, The Proper Bostonians #afternoontea #etiquette #manners

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper #420Day with this review of the greatest book ever of #cannabis manners, Higher Etiquette by Lizzie Post: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2019...

Today Etiquetteer recommends guides to table manners for a reader's girlfriend who doesn't feel quite sure of herself at table, and shares a few thoughts on #garlic for #NationalGarlicDay. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #tablemanners #etiquettebooks #books

What could be more Perfectly Proper than #afternoontea and talk with Etiquetteer next weekend? nscdama.org/event/tea-an... #etiquette #manners #teatime

Today being the anniversary of the sinking of the #Titanic, of course it's Perfectly Proper to review again the many etiquette errors in James Cameron's blockbuster Oscar-winning film. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2012... #etiquette #manners #movies #rmstitanic

A reader asked for Etiquetteer’s thoughts on etiquette #education in public schools, and here they are. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #learning

This . . . this is NOT Perfectly Proper! www.nytimes.com/2026/04/12/s... #alpinedivorce #relationships #hiking #etiquette #manners #decency

Etiquetteer asked readers on Instagram — do you follow Etiquetteer there? — what keeps them from having a dinner party at home. And there’s a #solution for just about everything. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #dinnerparty #entertaining

For those who love table settings and formal dinners, today Etiquetteer reprises the Dress Dinner Challenge format from way back in the pandemic to go through a formal four-course #dinner for Easter. This involved bending the rules...but how? www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners

Etiquetteer didn't intend to review of A.J. Liebling's memoir of food in Paris, Between Meals, on Easter Sunday when many will be sitting down to a feast, but here it is. For those who love good food and deft wordplay, it's a must. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #dinner

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper Easter Sunday.

For the birthday of #joancrawford today. it’s important to remember that she NEVER said “And I put a splash of vodka in everything.” But her advice on #entertaining at home stands up. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2018... #etiquette #manners #partygiving

Are people ruder in public now than before the pandemic? Etiquetteer speculates on the topic, prompted by a recent survey from the Pew Research Center. More importantly, what do you think? www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #behavior #courtesy

Flying today for the first time since last summer, Etiquetteer is reminded of the eye-watering body odor of a fellow air passenger. It is Not Perfectly Proper to embark on air travel without having bathed first. Remember the words of the late Clyde Crashcup: "Cleanliness...next...to FRIENDLINESS!"

Welcome new followers! Be sure to stop by www.etiquetteer.com to read up on the latest Perfect Propriety.

If you've always wanted to take tea with Etiquetteer, April 25 is the date, and Prescott House on Beacon Hill is the place. Tea and Talk with Etiquetteer at Prescott House, headquarters of the Colonial Dames, is now online! Order your tickets now, as space is limited. nscdama.org/event/tea-an...

Recommended reading for a #personalcurriculum of #elegance: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #reading #goodbooks

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper Saint Patrick's Day. Remember that the #greencarnation was popularized by Ireland's greatest writer, Oscar Wilde — which makes it also an emblem for Gentlemen of the Oscar Wilde Sort. Enjoy the day! #bowtie #etiquette #manners #boutonniere

Today Etiquetteer gets an assist from Noel Coward while advising a widow how to keep reminding her neighbors that the man who lives with her isn’t her husband. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #rurallife #gossip #designforliving

If it's March 14, that means it's time for Etiquetteer to wish you a Perfectly Proper Pi Day, and reshare this annual lesson on How to Take a Pie in the Face with Perfect Propriety. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2017... #etiquette #manners #pieintheface #piday

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper National #Jewel Day. The best advice came from How to Set Up for Mah-Jongg Game and Other Lost Arts, by Joan Gelman and Carol E. Rinzler: "A lady never starts on her emeralds until she has all her diamonds." What could be more Perfectly Proper?

Today Etiquetteer shares a couple incidents from Madame Chiang Kai-shek’s wartime visit to the White House which tested the composure of the First Lady, and especially her housekeeper Mrs. Nesbitt. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #whitehouse #history

Also for #InternationalWomensDay, this column from Volume 16 highlights some now-forgotten incidents of Bad Behavior from 2017 — which still highlight the need to advocate for the right of all women to be treated with dignity. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2017... #etiquette #manners #misogyny

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper #internationalwomensday with this appreciation of women #etiquette #writers from the archives. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2021... #manners

What could be more Perfectly Proper than a sellout audience for a second presentation of Elements of Victorian Mourning at the Gibson House Museum? #etiquette #manners #boston

Perhaps the time has come to add "No AI glasses" to dress codes for party invitations. www.bbc.com/news/article... #etiquette #manners

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper World Book Day with a favorite, unexpected source of good manners: #AuntieMame: An Irreverent Escapade, by Patrick Dennis. What's a book that inspired YOUR good manners? www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2021... #etiquette #manners

Today Etiquetteer reviews Jennifer Wright's new biography Glitz, Glam and a Damn Good Time: How Mamie Fish, Queen of the Gilded Age, Partied Her Way to Power. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #bookreview

For the end of #nationalweddingsmonth, Etiquetteer looks at a neglected area of #wedding #etiquette: the getaway car. Could shrimp in the hubcaps be Perfectly Proper?! www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #manners #weddings

Today Etiquetteer advises a reader on how to manage the awkwardness of periodic food gifts from new neighbors who don't speak the same language: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #neighborhood #neighborliness

For #nationaldrinkwineday, Etiquetteer offers a few pointers on #wine. Bonus points if you get the James Bond reference. www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #drinking

Restaurants are going to have to start posting "Recording with smart glasses is strictly prohibited" signs. What is being described here is Not Perfectly Proper. #etiquette #manners www.nytimes.com/2026/02/16/d...

For #PresidentsDay, enjoy this bit about James K. Polk and the #etiquette of shaking hands: www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2014... #manners #handshake

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper Presidents Day.

Today Etiquetteer has a few thoughts on #graciousliving, and how it differs from elegant living. (They are not mutually exclusive.) www.etiquetteer.com/columns/2026... #etiquette #manners #courtesy #kindness

"At one point during the match, Mr. Sapienza used a misogynistic vulgarity to describe his opponent’s wife, which her husband took exception to, the arrest affidavit said." Obviously none of this sordid, vulgar brawl is Perfectly Proper. Etiquetteer hopes the guilty parties get jail time.

Etiquetteer would like to wish you a Perfectly Proper Valentine's Day. From ten years ago, how to deflect an unwanted marriage proposal: vimeo.com/155140636 #etiquette #manners