finally taking an ssri for the first time and I think the thought of the side effects has caused me more anxiety and depression than I had before

:/

The amount of times you want to be like i don't fucking care what the reason this happened is. People can do things they have good reason to do and you can feel like shit about the action for good reason, both things can exist. And you can choose to distance over those things.

seeing some genuine incel shit from people lately

Gonna be real saw the most unhinged shit today, truly child like behavior. Sometimes just have to remember people are not all there and it sucks they destroy the lives of others but I really dont know what you can do. Tumblr destroyed a generation for sure.

it's so fucked up how the scariest thing for cis people regarding transness is they might not be able to tell, they might be nicer or hornier to the freaks than they want to be and that's unacceptable

Fucking city that turns human beings into socially parasitic ghouls. Mad Max cosplaying as community. Neverland for emotional growth.

This is ancient but (old hair, old apt) but I found it and finally uploaded it

When you are stuck in a position of thing you can't intervene in but also you know there isn't help to call for because anything official is just gonna make this worse. Genuinely don't know what to do but oooooof anxiety.

tbh social media is best when you use it for 2 things: 1) making new friends/keeping in touch with old friends, gassing each other up and having fun making jokes 2) telling politicians & opinion writers who are Just Asking Questions to step into traffic

Sighing too heavily, stare going far past a thousand yards. Feel like my body blinks and breathes slowly because it's weighing the cost of every one of those actions. Like a statue holding itself together, finally releases all that stone into dust.

Had a lil crisis last night when I went to finally practice tattooing after a while of not touching the machine. It was like picking it up for the first time again and I just felt so frustrated at myself for dropping it for so long. Wrote out some long term plans to stick to, not gonna pause again.

Ooooooooo did not expect the fact Maarva in Andor season one looks so much like my late grandmother to hit like that

Fml comfort bar closed, always randomly closed on nights I could REALLY REALLY use existing in that space.

The post it's she had on the old computer case lol

I saw that thing going around again of the paintings nine years apart and just damn my heart aches for something like in my life. A comfy home you get to live in for years, someone to share that with and celebrate. Really can't get it out of my head lately.

Thing that sucks that you knew was gonna suck but even all the mental prep and thinking you are prepared can't stop it from stinging.

New years resolutions bingo

Not sure what to do

Partner tells me a thing that rings so true to my trans experience. Cis lesbians see a butch trans woman and see a version of womanhood whereas some trans women see a butch trans woman and see a failed attempt at transness.

Oh whoops the drunk doodle i made for the bar might be their new logo

Last night was rough but ended so wonderfully. Went to a cute queer bar that just opened and stayed till 4am. Took so many wonderful pics of all the amazing people I met there.

New dyke bar opened up right by me, dream come true. Spent all night drinking and took like 1000 photos. Best thing to happen while trying to forget family death

Rough night

Cough kept waking up the bun so I went to crash on couch and just ughhhhhhhhhhhh need sleep and snuggles 😭😭😭

Sighhhhhhh

If there was an goddess of butchness I do think she would be shedding silent tears eternally, slowly working away and supporting and moving forward.

I think Im gonna look for a scarification person that would do a scar over my left eye. There are so many quirks from an injury there that spawn dumb questions and it would be so nice for people to just be able to see it scarred and assume its just messed up.

If you're a cis person looking for ways to connect with the Trans Day of Remembrance, here's a list of suggestions: 1) Money. Give money to trans people. Especially to black trans people. Save the speeches and the somber memes. Give. Money. Not to the Trevor Project, to trans people. End of list.

Lost a weird number of people over the course of my life. But after transition an already high number rapidly increased and for awful painful reasons. I think today is the only anniversary/remembrance that really brings me down on the day.

Think I'm getting a little burnt out on beat you up blood you kill you kink stuff

Why oh why did i forget to get the contact info of the girl tonight that pitched a photoshoot where she is covered in spiders. I want to do that shoot so fucking bad.

For some reason lately my brain also just ends a lot of dreams snuggling different people, like that is almost every dream lately in a weird way.

puppy girl, pondering: hmm. this gives me paws.

Midnight patch making

something nice: everyone involved in this project is so fucking lovely and i'm so lucky to be friends with some of them and if you haven't you should check it out :3 www.kickstarter.com/projects/bun...

Cleaned out space in the closet to put some of our boxes away, found three swords

nice

After a week of just pure fucking stress, little sleep, poor diet, really just crashing out. Today Im finally back on meds and well rested and fed and feeling like I could fuck god idk just god damn feels good. Lets get this fucking show launched.

Found this on the AO3 subreddit, and I'm about to let it change my whole life (or at least work really hard to internalize it wrt my writing).

We just watched Girls Last Tour which reminded me of this book I read a long time ago. Grabbed a copy, time for Girls Most Fucked Up Tour.

Been getting so little sleep to that point your waking hours cannot be productive but I was stuck in that cycle of pushing to finish things which just stressed me out as I fail to finished them because I'm on zero sleep brain fog energy and in and on.

It feels like too much trans discourse i see is someone saying they like or want a thing and then someone doing mental gymnastics to figure out how that person hates them and then it reverberates forever

i think rabbits should have unfettered access to heavy artillery

This how we got Mrs Bumbleflower

My brain is an awful mix of the highest highs and lowest lows right now