Every time I pass one of these “memorial highway” situations, I wonder if they died b/c of something like this The #1 killer of cops is, after all, cops crashing their cars while driving drunk, not in response to a call 😒

Sometimes it’s oddly gender-affirming when men are condescending toward me Me: “You would never talk to a man that way 🥲”

I don’t like the language of “LGBTQ affirming” Liberal churches use it a lot I know about a lot of the things that have gotten the straights’ seal of approval over the centuries, and we don’t need to be associated with that brand 🙅🏼‍♀️

I quit doing Keto after being on it for more than 8 months And I’m experiencing wonder at the most mundane things, like I’m an alien visiting Earth for the first time “I can just buy a soft pretzel if I want to??” It’s delightful ☺️

They often like to be called “Father” or “Reverend”

I tried to explain to my husband that ✨ Actually ✨ cherub would be a huge promotion or ontological upgrade from archangel, according to the Pseudo-Dionysian celestial hierarchy And now I think he wants a divorce 🥲

Eww I just learned that St. Michael is the patron saint of cops Assigned Cherub At Birth

I taught my kids what an isosceles triangle was And I told them, “It was named after a Greek mathematician named Isosceles, who also had two legs that were the same size” Rare dad joke that landed 👍🏻

Imagine being worth $255 billion dollars and buying the shittiest hard-front Party City wig

Saw a lot of progressive Christians saying, “the Rapture is a recent fundy invention” which is true But they thought it ALSO meant “the Second Coming of Christ is a recent fundy invention” And I’m gonna need more churches (including mine) to recite the Creed more often 🤦🏼‍♀️ ⚓️

Church leaders clutching their pearls about sex work is so ridiculous The past or present sex workers in your church might not hear you, but Jesus hears you talking shit about his great-grandmas 🤨

Cis allies thinking about speaking out against genocide of trans ppl Vs. Cis allies thinking about getting mad at trans ppl for using the “wrong” language to talk about our oppression & liberation

Does anyone know if, in Episcopal (⚓️) seminaries, they still assign Bishop Spong’s books? I’m sure he was a great guy But I’m skimming his _Why Christianity Must Change or Die_ and it’s… Not for me 😅

Why is everybody talking about the Rapture today? I feel so left behind 😢

How I performatively read (literally)

I placed an online order for a book from the publisher, and I just got a phone call(!) and a voicemail(!!) from them 😨 Is this the political violence that everyone is talking about

How did we ever get the notion that rich people’s lives are enviable

Next it’ll be unskippable ads before you can open the fridge door 🥲

Me: I’m not in the mood to have my name flagrantly misspelled. I’ll use a nickname Starbucks employee: 😏😏😏

Love driving up the PCH to Oregon, Washington, and *checks notes* Hawaii

Training AI on my therapist’s notes? I hope the bots like having daddy issues haha 🥲

Somebody’s gonna smash that robot the first day it’s out lol

STEAL THEIR LOOK

I finished up my church internship year, and my mentoring clergy put this in her report to church leadership: “I see Jonathan as a priest in the Episcopal church and believe that the church would be made stronger by their presence.” ⚓️ 🥹🥹🥹

Real decolonizers won’t do the missionary position ✌🏻

There's a word for someone who prioritizes the white race, says that Black people are less intelligent or less civilized than white people, Jews control the world through money, Muslims are evil terrorists anathema to Western Civilization, and being trans should be illegal. Nazi. That's the word.

How do you answer your phone?

I would throw hands if someone described my mouth as “chaste-looking” 🤨 I have a reputation to uphold

At a school site and somebody heard my last name is “Quinn” Old white guy: “You should change it to ‘The Mighty Quinn!’” Me: *confused* “Haha yeah.” Apparently “The Mighty Quinn” was a Denzel Washington movie that came out when I was 4 🤔🤔🤔

There’ll be no beating the “hot teacher” allegations today, I fear 🩵🩷

I’m sorry but the gov’t saying they’re going to keep trans ppl from buying guns is prob the best way to get trans ppl to buy all the guns We ALL have pathological demand avoidance lol

Fingers crossed for a Hillbilly Eulogy 🤞🏻

Gurl we know it’s called straight marriage 🙄

Look, I'm glad he's doing the counter-gerrymander but I'm old enough to remember what he did as Mayor

as a disabled nonbinary lesbian couple that can't work we're asking for mutual aid please help reduce our risk of being houseless with our cat by sharing and donating if you can 💸💕 anything helps, thank you for your support! www.paypal.me/anna966 venmo.com/u/bee_petty gofund.me/6de0ae47

your gym teacher and your english teacher are getting married

What if we kissed in the gay swamp 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

I think a lot of people don't know that Niemoller was in fact a member in good standing of the Nazi Party at one point, the poem isn't about how neutrality won't save you, it's about how active collaboration won't save you.

Haven’t needed this in a while

Palate cleaner.

I’m honestly not sure if it’s possible to serve honorably at this point. If I was in the position of an officer who had to explain to his troops why we are pointing guns at American citizens who don’t want us there, I’m not sure I could answer truthfully without getting fired.

Entering my slutty little glasses era ✌🏻

Sex workers are being banned and harassed Trans people are being banned and harassed Black people are being banned and harassed Palestinians are being banned and harassed Disabled people are being banned and harassed Bluesky: "I know you think we're doing a bang up job but here's a suggestion box"😃

Never forget.

This is the eleventh anniversary of Mike Brown's murder. Still for his family and our community, no justice has been had.

We are a queer family living in socal, if we get evicted we have to move back to Texas, as a disabled trans person thats basically a death sentence for me. No healthcare, no rights. I'm screwed, please help. Rent: 100/3350 venmo.com/u/pancakewitch $givepancake paypal.me/inosaramet #mutualaid

The only white South African Canadian I want messing around with my insides is this man