who up goin back to they origins

it's funny how trendy the deep web was 10 years ago for some reason. i never thought they'd make another welcome to the game game

i got flowers?? banquet or manager or something lady said "someone left these." wow they are so about to wilt in this humidity but yay floweys 💛

who up enterin they vaselines

my man is literally the most perfect thing i've ever seen. i could pack my bags & go to heaven now

u ever so in love u feel like ur gonna fucking vomit. or burst into flames. or like ascend to a higher realm and leave ur body like deflating in the corner. or cum

it pretty much only got on my pants anyway. the wash did a pretty good job and if i just douse my shit in perfume like i always do anyway it's like good as new. ain't no stinky rodent gonna ruin my sex appeal goddammit

anyway i made myself a bigass burrito with jack & salsa verde & green chile tortilla chips with a dr pepper and i feel good again. skunk is far from my memory already

it's cool how my room is the nicest smelling room in the house for a change. maybe god just sent that lil strinky striped dude to force me to clean & fan the fuck outta my air. maybe he was just like "ok u had ur delirous lovesick haze all day. time to actually get your shit together now"

i'm like pretty confident that i've managed to make myself go back to smelling good but i'm still worried about my clothes. they don't exactly get to exfoliate with tropical rain body wash & lotion with chestnut/ylang ylang/tangerine like i do. all they got to do was soak in baking soda for an hour

i love how if i'm not constantly being harrassed by porch pirates & car window smashers i at least still get to deal with god's fucked up little monsters on a daily basis. fun

my favorite song of all time maybe

is it cool is it cool music.apple.com/us/album/str...

i'd never actually seen a skunk before tbh. they're so cute, i wish they weren't assholes. they're a lot like men in that way

finally got home from work and who should greet me but a fucking skunk who was literally just camping my front door. i tried to move as slowly as possible around it so it wouldn't freak out but alas fuck you i'm a skunk bitch get sprayed. all over my BRAND NEW WORK CLOTHES DJFHTR

ben gibbard has such a pleasant voice

i can't see over all these hearts in my eyes

contrary to popular belief, i actually really hate being sad

listening to sonic youth smart bar 1985 for the first time in maybe over a decade and yeah no wonder i wanted to be like them so bad as a teenager. jesus christ why do they sound so awesomely evil. who the fuck else on earth sounds like that

BONNIE TYLER :'(((

i do not deserve this man at all. i've been ignoring him for like two months even though i really wanted to see him but i've just been in too much of a self pitying hole to be even remotely decent. he still hasn't given up on me like he should've. people like that are really special

8 spiders a year keeps the doctor away

i remember as a child i thought we just kept a metal baseball bat by the front door to be like, an interesting piece that guests would see upon entering our living room. like what wealthy people do with novelty objects. lol

what are some vita games i absolutely must get on the store while i still can

jordan gotosleep i am still so madly in love with u

forgot how many cool mfs are on here. i hope chris frantz is having a nice summer

hey you bluesky people are pretty nerdy how would one theoretically get a heady 5-book historical romance book series about infidelity and trauma to make money without going through a traditional publisher. just hypothetically

nobody keeps the vibe alive like bill wurtz man

finally playing subnautica since the sequel came out and i never even bothered to learn about the first one. it's so cool dude holy shit wow

Seeing apps in the App Store in 2026 that are $0.99 feels like seeing someone out in public still using a pager.

i'm back just to say i still think nationsquid is seriously so hot

mediocre chicken sandwich at my job apparently costs almost 30 dollars. remind me never to look at our website again

i'm also super irritated because when the hell did google maps get so laggy. thanks for telling me when to turn 20 seconds after i've passed it. fuck me i guess

i have got to get out of the ghetto man. something happens to one of our cars every 3 months like clockwork and every single time it gets me so heated it makes me want to adopt a rottweiler and spend my nights outside with a baseball bat. these loser FUCKS think they can do whatever they want

had to spend my lunch break going to get a locked gas cap because fuckers stole mine last night :') next on my list is security systems for ALL our vehicles because this is absurd. even moving the ever vulnerable bonnie into the driveway does not stop these pathetic clowns from helping themselves

i seem to have finally looped around the sun enough times that my family's genes kicked in and suddenly i am obsessed with spicy food. i completely understand why my dad & brother were like that about it now. everything i eat lately i'm like "but what if more hot sauce"

every time i look at the internet i feel at least 2% more geriatric. and i look at the internet a lot

the kids on twitter have discovered dog day afternoon. things are really looking up now

we got a lost cat flyer oh no :(((

sometimes i wonder if cathy ever notices me still adding songs to the goofin playlist after 3 fucking years

i'm the first one to get my full work week back. i choose to believe it's because my chefs just really fucking respect me

much like quicksand and the bermuda triangle, the threat of encountering a pizza with anchovies on it has proven to be a significantly lower risk in life than i was conditioned to expect

who up choosin they own adventure

i love how great snow is for isolating sound. i can chill in my car with the music loud and not be self conscious

come on loud as fuck 4 am chip bag be quiet for once

whenever i feel like dying i just listen to the beatles and remember who i am

if there's one thing that should be strictly tactile it's cars for FUCKS sake. literally what are we doing

cars are meant to be fucking tactile in every fucking regard

just found out if i instinctively put my car key in my back pocket there's a chance i butt-dial the fuckin hatch. which raises sooo slowwwlyyy and u have to wait to shut it again. this thing better behave cuz it's making me prefer bonnie more every day

neil young is stoner rock