I’m currently on submission with the young adult book of my heart: COSMIC GIRLS. Unfortunately, my agent let me know she’s leaving agenting as of May 30, so I will no longer have representation at that time. Now, my focus is on finishing a new manuscript and seeking a new agent. Wish me luck. ❤️

Writers! Join us for a weekend in March full of writing at the Miller Tree Inn. I'll be giving one-on-one editorial feedback with every attendee as well as teaching workshops and running writing sprints!

Gossip Girl reboot actress Samantha Rose Baldwin has told DailyMail.com of her dramatic run through fire and ashes to rescue her cat in the Palisades Fire https://bit.ly/3W7jWUI

My favorite thing about having friends in tech is telling them “have you tried turning it on and off again?” At situations completely unrelated. Friend is nervous at first date? “Have you tried turning it on and off again?” Underdressed for an event? “Have you tried turning it on and off again?”

The thing about the CEO shooter is that he is just copying our Founding Fathers. Like America was literally born we decided to fight the people at the top.

Fishes must have a hard time explaining that they were fished up and let go. Like: Fish 1: “I swear the giant alien roped me up by the mouth and but a thing next to me and threw me back down here” Fish 2: “ Not this again Jared, just eat the damn bug”

“You have to spend money to make money” is such a relatable quote. Cause my drive to make money wasn’t there until I bought 6 Mcribs. Now my ability to pay rent is in question and my drive to make money is infinitely stronger.

It’s been a year. I have been disciplining my body for a year for this. A year of careful eating and light exercise awaiting this faithful day. For the rest of the month I plan to devour so many McRibs. I do not care that it is just a prism of pork slathered with BBQ sauce. I need it now and forever

The problem with recipes I find online is how often they lie. They always say how the recipe is easy and it’s a piece of cake. But when I’m done cooking it never taste like cake.

My favorite interaction with my dog has to be the fact that his nose registers as finger taps on my phone. Sometimes I leave my phone on the bed and I come back to him having opened Uber eats. If that isn’t the universe telling me to order food idk what is.

I had an early Friendsgiving last week and I made way too much mashed potatoes. I have been eating mashed potatoes for a week multiple meals a day. I am convinced that I am now roughly 80% potatoes. Help. All I can see in my future is mashed potatoes and all I see in my past is mashed potatoes.

I think my favorite part of going to new restaurants is trying new foods from the variety in their menus. I can be between the choice of the roast chicken or the mushroom pasta. Then the waiter comes and I panic order the lamb.

My commitment to at least shitposting once every business is strong for one reason and one reason only.

Every time my partner gets sick we go into very different nursing styles. I try to treat her like a human by giving her meds and food. She thinks she’s the Roku player and just keeps turning herself off and on again via sleep. At some point like our Roku player she just starts working again.

Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee is like the seltzer water of coffee. It’s like drinking water but the drink reminds you of coffee.