the hypochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

who tf cares if water is wet, it's literally just thick air

haha yes i love numb three rs

orbitate...

genuinely WHAT is the point of Job if there is no Wife At Home???

PSA: sidling and saddling are DIFFERENT WORDS

just tried to spell proceed like procede and yknow what. i think im right

unc peepaw people's princess oomf average everyday icon

pronouncing pho like foe

no. the first meal i eat IS breakfast, even at 10pm. and the last one is dinner,, EVEN AT 6AM !!

YOU BE WHAT

and if you use the word goober i WILL listen to your tales

need i say door?

whahappen when im gonna taking the playStation. disconec it

THE FUTURE IS BULLETPROOF THE AFTERMATH IS SECONDARY IT'S TIME TO DO IT NOW AND DO IT LOUD KILLJOYS MAKE SOME NOISE

kaboom.. kablow even

my fellow ghostmericans,

and did he not direct a play and then come home canoodling with one of its victims, did he? WHO DID THAT I WONDER, REPEAT THE NAME??

their EYES (???) interlock????????

do NOT thumbs up my email. it wasnt addressed to you even?? sickening

what am i if not terse

is it parasocial if i can turn it off and theyre fictional

IM AT SOUP

oh music ending in a fade out my beloved. i imagine them playing on forever

me when the author makes the characters do a thing

but.. but.. but iM AFRAIDA WATA

the way i cant unmask for a JOURNALLLLLLL

wasa wasa wasa wasa wasUUUUUUUUUUUUUP BITCONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT

a genuine email i received today:

that's an aWfully hOt cOffee pOt

ugh im literally better than every roman emperor. i can control the lights without moving an inch OR enslaving anyone to do it for me. what a concept like can you imagine telling them about it i want to laugh at their purple covered asses

car update: he is Mildly Concerned by thunder but trusts that i am calm for a reason !!! what an intelligent man

je suis le bug de l'an deux mille WIZZ WIZZ.. WIZZ WIZZ

just had to search desperately for a fallen ORANGE lest it rot evilly in a dark corner.. cars are stoopid

they took the L and they gave it to the GBTQ

nobody ever talks about my super theory of super everything

jaybe, or.. jaybe not

the macaroni

DO I: watch a rat make people crazy OR engage in fandom

they. want. you! IN THE NAVY !!

all i want is some good fucking horchata. IS THAT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK FOR

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS. BUT IT'S PROVOCATIVE

every time i look at a spreadsheet crafted by THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE (!!) i genuinely take psychic damage. what the fuck is this nonsense

something just came across my desk..

im Not That In A Cent

absolutely pickled beyond the gherkin

it's a GRUBBY little century

what you have to understand is that the inheritance cycle is in fact better than the lord of the rings

ok yes sure it's untenable.. but we can go lower. is it also uneightable?

i feel that the couch needs its very own duvet