I would guard him with my life. MACHETIE too. No one gets to our rhino. I'll make John Wick look like a teddy bear.

Also we need a Governmental Crimes Commission not just a Presidential Crimes Commission. There are 3 branches of government who need to be under the microscope for all their crimes. Without this we fail.

I voted 4 Obama/Hillary/Biden/Kamala. I want all Dems out who're bought/paid 4 by corps. I want all Dems out who aren't prepared 2b bulldog/indict all these criminals 4 every crime right down 2 jaywalking. I want fighters in bulk/united. If they aren't, then get out. Get it done. Fascists b damned.

This Iran ceasefire is not very ceasefirey

This country is Pompeii and this administration is Mount Vesuvius

I was driving out in VA with a friend and we passed cows and they didn't say moooo w me so I pulled the car over. I told them they had to get out or there was a $5 fine. So I'm $5 richer. What kind of nincompoop doesn't mooo when they pass cows. It's a federal law.

I just checked the news like an idiot Everything is in the crapper We're all gonna die Check back here for truncated synopses of current events.

I'm worried about his stress level

I haven't checked the news yet. Am I required to get a man's permission to enter the towns for provisions?

Form an organized line for nose boops

Is this legal Cramps is my defense.

Yassssssss

Thank you. I've been right 100% of the time the last 1p years and I have zero qualms telling you I told you so.

I do not have one of these

They're really good at totally destroying democracy

Popo trying to to catch us ridin dirty Why does it look like there's a lion in my car

My client: my atty will get this closed she's a bulldog Person: heard she's the best putting 2gerher any deal MC: it's why I hired her; haven't lost yet P: what if she gets distracted MC: I've never seen it happen. She's laser-focused P: we heard the other party is bringing a baby otter MC: F^CK

What is being made so plainly obvious--even 2 the dumbest of Americans--is that the framers never anticipated all 3 branches of gov't failing/being complicit in a multitude of criminal conspiracies & that the constitution is both fallible & a living breathing document that's in need of a lot of work

He needs to be replaced. NOW

I'm just gonna scooooootch in here Shhhhhhhhhh

When trump lost the election he violently tried 2 overthrow the gov't. If Dems win Congress it will b worse. Everyone not MAGA needs 2b prepared incl DC police. The feds won't assist. He's as desperate as possible/willing 2 burn everything down. Those n power need to b ready. Now. Not hyperbole. Now

Tiny dog has an announcement. He says if MACHETIE gets to be called Big Governor then Charlie gets to be called Tiny Terminator. I'm just the messenger. He said he'll beat up MACHETIE when I'm not home if we don't comply.

Free boopaloops

Samuel Jackson should narrate the list of articles of impeachment for Trump as Jules Winnfield. It would be epic.

I like this idea. Big Governor needs an sub so o have to get him another car. He doesn't for well in the posters car. It's on my list. 👍

This is really freaking wholesome

MACHETIE "Big Governor" Weeks says y'all have a good day. He has to have his morning walkie to show off his size and handsomeness to the people and animals this morning.

I do not have one of these.

MACHETIE was called Big Governor on his am walkie by one of the nice men who handle my block's trash route. Now he's walking around all fancy pants demanding he forever be MACHETIE "Big Governor" Weeks specifically Big Governor in air quotes. I'm just the messenger.

I would rather read instructions on how rubber bands are made while sitting in a burning Brazen Bull.

Incredible we're a country where 1 man over a trillion dollar budget & the entirety of our military & another over our federal law enforcement program are drunks who go on multi-day benders & this is only 1 of many reasons they're unfit & security risks. Thousands more reasons exist.

😊

This is probably sad for Chuck Grassley seeing his first dog dug up.

I do not have one of these

We should all wear tan suits to vote in person

Can an internet sleuth find these exact same cowboy boots for me PLEEEEEEEASE

I haven't checked the news since last night Are we all dead yet

Friend: I need some help Me: *struggling to super glue something and ending up supergluing my fingers together then gluing them to the thing I was trying to glue* well you've come to the right place

My favorite Bible passage is in the book of Vincent Vega and Marseillus Wallace's Wife Chapter 1 v.9 when Jules Winnfield asks, "does Marseillus Wallace look like a bitch?"

Absolutely No problems at all Everything is super duper No issues Living the life Everything is awesome

There's a brand new baby elephant at the Smithsonian zoo. For now. I'll be purchasing an SUV soon. Not related tho.

Is everyone ok I mean that relatively of course not like in a normal sense of ok

I've been right about everything I've ever said about this for 10 years. This country will not survive a full term by this administration. We aren't even a year and a half in. We will not.

When I send people the wrong emojis I just roll w it. I accidentally sent someone a fax machine instead of a castle and they're like wth does this mean and I said if you can't figure it out then idk what to tell you. For some of my friends this would bother them literally all day which tickles me.

This is probably true lol

Y'all should see me with tiny dog on Google Maps as a google street view car drove by us walking this morning. I have a super cute outfit on and tiny dog looks handsome. My hair is curly and huge so you can't miss us. We're kind of a big deal around here.

From now on when people come to me at work with legal issues I'm just going to say we need to get rid of the windmills and walk away.

Tomorrow will be even dumber in this country. Remarkable.

I wanted to share Johnny's thoughts on me not being an original. Apparently I'm the only person who can't see every post on the entire internet so duplicates should be offensive even if unintended but at least I know I am not impressing Johnny here.

Pope Leo: