Each news day cycle in America

My bff sent this to me and said "you are people" lol

Yassssssss

Stress levels are high here.

It will only get worse. It's dystopian. The legislature, scotus and executive are completely untethered from the law: please be safe. Each day is a year here and every day brings new total destruction to this country. The Hague needs to be on the future manifesto for Dems & they need to plan NOW.

This is my view when I leave my house. Like I've left them in the wilderness to die and not a luxury condo. Clearly the big guy in the hoodie is the most indignant here.

Since we've unplugged this government let's not plug this particular one back in let's get a new router mmmmmk thanks

I want to live in a country where the president of the United States is smarter than a tossed salad.

Well, Machetie is smart, handsome, and not a drunk. That's a lot of things in his favor!

EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES EPSTEIN FILES

I took @themachetiedawg.bsky.social for his morning walk & working on a new trick. We had an audience of 3 watching us (he's 115 lbs of twisted steel & sex appeal pittie so he draws attention) & after 4 attempts he got the trick & the 3 folks clapped/cheered 4 him. It was 3 more than drunk dude had.

I'm not trying to brag here but I honestly predicted it would be a disastrous embarrassing fumbling broken unconstitutional vapid arrogant egotistical misogynistic insulting inept unqualified radical idiotic rambling inbred dark hostile hateful clown show of a gigantic mess of a dinosaur turd.

So @barackobama.bsky.social had to hand over his birth certificate. It's only fair Kumquat Leatherface gives a DNA sample to prove he wasn't formed in a pod.

I remember when I got new rollerblades and the neighbors and my parents came to watch me skate around the driveway so I could show out. The applause was much louder. You can hear the drop of his Bermuda Rum Swizzle stir stick in this silence.

Secretary Beer Pong must not know about The Hague while he hollers about beards and haircuts and attacking innocent American civilians on our own soil. Along with of course not knowing historical data and the job skills and information needed for his position.

so @rosie.com on IG responded to kumquat leatherface's threat to revoke her citizenship by saying after 18 years I still live rent free in that "collapsing brain" of yours and this is why we love her.

We live in a country where one person cannot keep track of how many mass shootings we have unless it's their full time job.

This is all so very incredibly shocking. Secretary Beer Pong with no experience at all and a hatred of women and minorities struggles in his role. We would have been safer if a ski boot had been confirmed instead.

MAKE HAVING A BRAIN A REQUIREMENT FOR POTUS

Really smart military action removing troops from allied nations in Europe and invading Portland, Oregon. The apocalyptic vision of this pictures is absolutely terrifying. Secretary Let Me Shotgun This Beer b4 the next meeting must be so proud of his daddy.

Brilliant!

Ive decided to dress up as a Tylenol bottle for Halloween while pretending to eat the dogs and cats.

I got long Covid/was luckily vaccinated/boosted. I didn't end up in the hospital/was sick for 1.5 yrs. I'm more prone 2 getting it again than others as a result. I now can't get a covid vaccine bc I'm far too young/have no illnesses. Thank you to everyone who voted for ppl like me to possibly die.

We are in a lot of trouble people. A lot.

I bet our military's top ranking service people will be super excited getting lectured by a dude whose major accomplishments include doing toddler pull ups and getting through a few hours without getting sh*tfaced.

Have we checked all our Tylenol bottles for the Epstein files?

As a lawyer and being firmly in my lane here I've done my research and figured out that rusty boat motors are causing the increase in hurricanes. You're welcome.

Can we make peas the culprit now and give Tylenol a break? Like blame peas for climate change or something. I hate peas.

I'm not sure what he's saying here but one flap is up so it must be serious.

America: "Look kids Big Ben- I can't get left" except it's the 9 levels of the Inferno and Big Ben is Hell.

The 'Nol got to me y'all. The Tylenol makes my hair tingle.

They look like they spent the day at the human skin suit boutique and couldn't find a fit.

The "this is not what I voted for" crowd is getting on my very last nerve.

I took a Tylenol last night. I persevered tho. I'm still here. Praise be.

Everyday in America I wake up wearing this face.

Like the White House squatter, I identify as 6'3" tall and 215 pounds.

Everything is going to hell in a hand basket and the hand basket is on fire and the contents have been poisoned & doused with lye and the hand basket has been left outside in acid rain while floating along in nuclear waste.

I am dying of many of the deaths.

Am I still allowed to venture into the towns whilst showing my ankles for provisions for family supper after churning butter all morning and speaking directly to the menfolk and making eye contact or no

This is not exhaustive.

Please pay attention to Sir @markhamillofficial.bsky.social please.

What did they holler at Edgar Allen Poe before he ran into a tree? Poetry! 💃cha cha cha

Well played Brits, well played. This is how it's done.

*texting the bff at 5:30 in the morning* Me: I think my armpit is broken Bff: .... Me: ... BFF: what did I do to deserve this

I'll take doesn't give a sh*t about all the laws for $500, Alex.

Ok that's a good one.

America, this is how it's done. www.cnn.com/2025/09/11/a...

I was debating a contract provision with another lawyer and we weren't getting anywhere. Finally I stood up and said straight-faced as all get out, "you wanna take this outside?" The look on his face was priceless. Never let 'em know your next move.

Lololololololololololol

They literally are breaking all the laws we have in this country. Every. Single. Law.