Simba pose with MACHETIE. Nailed it.

I do not have one of these.

If desperation had an odor it would be Pam Bondi's DOJ

Friend: I love that I never know what's coming out of your mouth next Me: me neither F: ... M: ... *fiddles w aux* M: we need 2 ascertain if the aliens are the kind who think we're cute or the acid 4 blood ones b4 we volunteer. We don't want the cranky ones F: ... M: there's something wrong w me

When does Fetterman just announce he's a Republican?

Still haven't checked the news. I didn't want anyone shaving with lemon juice or crawling back under their covers & weeping again. Incidentally has the US invaded the North Pole? I'm sure Santa is on the sh*t list too. All those gifts to steal from children.

I am not checking the news this morning so as not to depress anyone with The Daily Dread Report . So um well Happy Halloween then.

Maybe I'll skip checking the news tomorrow to avoid The Daily Dread Report

Glad I can help

He's still unavailable for comment.

The news is even worse than yesterday. It's even more dangerous and heart-breaking and we're a laughingstock and an island run by amoebas. We're all gonna die. Y'all have a great Wednesday now.

For the first time in his entire life tiny dog saw a standard size poodle on his walkie. As a 9 pound toy poodle he wasn't aware he came in various sizes. They booped noses but I think he's having an existential crisis

Thank you

Monstrous. Pure monsters.

I just briefly checked the news. Everything is terrible and dangerous and sad and appalling and we're all gonna die. Good morning y'all have a noce Tuesday.

Hey Women for Trump how are things workin out for y'all? Aces.

I'm trying to figure out what enables Mike Johnson to walk because it's certainly not a spine.

Thank you lol

When my bangs blow in the wind it makes my face look weird. This is a total disaster.

Y'all are aware that not every problem w this country can b addressed in 1 single post. Pointing out a myriad of issues a professional doesn't discuss fails 2 make u look smart/It appears u don't know there's a character limit. Everything written isn't to the exclusion of all else in the world ffs.

Normally I would call the president but we don't have one.

I'm getting a lot of crap 4 my school of choice. I picked it bc they sued Trump & didn't take a knee like some other schools. Just as I wouldn't choose one of the law firms who bowed to the regime/agreed to provide free legal work to him. Gutless. I stand by my choice. Every school has its faults.

You just NOW became aware of my existence? What the heck. The internet is broken. I need to speak to the manager. Unacceptable.

Same. I like your energy.

Wow. Just wow.

Tiny dog and MACHETIE are cooler than all of us

Again. I don't know why I have to repeat myself. It's pronounced Caribbean not Caribbean.

I'm just a lawyer who is about to begin studying for her MBA at Harvard so what do I know. I'm just spitballing here but maybe we need a new Congress. You know like the kind that does their job? That kind of Congress. A very Congressey Congress just Congressing around every day all day.

I think instead of water boarding all these fascist criminals here in the US they should play Laura Trump's songs on repeat indefinitely.

He looks like a scrotum wearing glasses

One of my classics

Would my ginormous big boi MACHETIE forgive me for making him wear this? Is he too macho for this getup? It's so cute lol

The news is not healthy for me.

lol thank you

It's glaringly obvious we don't have a shared vocabulary with any of these nutters.

I do not have one of these.

I was putting together a legal filing for a federal agency and I misplaced my Exhibit B sticker. I made a new one then got everything filed and low and behold in line at Starbucks for my tea I am told Exhibit B is stuck on my heiny. I am Exhibit B.

Friends: Mo you make the best sweet tea Me: the secret ingredient are the tears of my enemies Friends: ... Me: ... Friends: well it works

A lot to unpack here

Y'all look at this great moving box I got today from stuff I ordered. Super day.

I sold the drapes in a bedroom and MACHETIE ran in and is like where the hell did the drapes go? He hates when I change things. He's totally dumbfounded.

I'm moving soon and I'm adulting so hard when I order something and it comes in a big box I'm like oh great this is a fantastic moving box then I take a picture of it and send to my friends. They're like thanks Mo for the box pic 🙄. Someone literally anyone come save me from myself please.

If you have anything derogatory to say about Jason Statham on my feed we're gonna get into fisticuffs.

Omg lol

Maybe we have enough Jurassic Park movies.

Our country's extraordinary lack of education is so glaringly obvious w this admin's actions as ppl here have no idea how interwoven the allied countries are as well as how connected all countries are in our global geopolitical sphere. Newton's Third Law of Motion: every action causes a reaction.

He's one of the younger ones. The old ones won't see prison, incl Trump, but what can happen is we as an int'l community can keep the old ones in defendants' chairs, both criminal & civil, every single day of their natural lives. The rest should spend their lives in prison if we scale up the law.

This is Machetie's best Magnum face @benstiller.redhour.com

Kegseth is going to do time for his crimes.

Omg lol Tiny dog knew the assignment