I'd marry my Instagram feed because I can open it up with one finger and it makes me feel inferior for the next 20 minutes.

Trump knows New York City loves Mamdani. Trump knows New York City hates HIM. Trump will 100% shit on MAGA to soothe his ego.

Dr. Thunder in the streets. Dr. Pepper in the sheets.

I like my women like I like my taco trucks: questionable and sweaty.

Here's a preview of the Epstein Files: [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] democrats [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] underage girls [REDACTED] [REDACTED]

"Rosebud"

Been on Facebook since you needed a .edu email and deleted it about 2 months ago and WOW what a difference it makes. 10/10 would recommend.

And she's right, of course.

I didn't think the face eating leopards would eat MY face.

It's only episode 3 and Pluribus is outstanding. Vince Gilligan is a genius. And Rhea Seehorn is the best of the best.

When I'm out of town for work for 48 hours straight and come back to social media.

*knucks*

To everyone that was ever bullied you are about to see karma play out in the most epic fashion. Enjoy.

"THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!" ... ... "No we wanted to be racists. Not racists AND pedophiles." "Wait, no, not like this!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

QAnon: The powerful pedophiles have invented elaborate codes to secretly discuss their crimes that require decades of interpretation Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again

Goon Girl

My biggest controversy is liking Jolly Ranchers.

The space between recommending a 10k bonus and actually receiving a 10k bonus is called Trump University.

"Honey wake up! New economic recession soft launch just dropped."

"The millionaires are fleeing New York!!!" Oh good. May I recommend the surface of the sun?

It's a winter wonderland outside which means it's time to fire up the jungle inside. Grabbed the African daisy (bottom left second from the left) off the porch right before the snow came down. It was looking a bit sad, but already perking up.

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

A 50 year loan means you get to spend your life paying on a 400k home (mid) you will never own, including property taxes, with a vig sans inflation of 90k. You will probably never gain equity, and Blackrock will probably seize it in the end. Best case you'll strap your children with the house. Enjoy

And let that be a lesson to you, you fucking poors. If you ever vote for so much as an ounce of happiness on election day you will be met with a ton of nihilism.

Mamdani is going to impose Shania Law. And men, you WILL feel like a woman.

2065 classroom: "So these years between 2024 and 2028 half of the voting block voted to be racist, not poor." *kid raises hand*: "So what happened?" "They ended up racist and poor"

@jackiebouvier.bsky.social Paul doing Blackbird

Laura is 32 yrs old. Hate and bigotry will eat you from the inside out.

Just finished Plur1bus and it's either going to be the greatest series ever, or a complete farce. I'm going with the former. And Rhea Seahorn is the best of the best. Kim Wexler is back!

Mamdani, "On the day I am elected mayor I will kill Dick Cheney." Promises Made - Promises Kept

Honestly this speaks volumes about our current mess.

Terrorists have taken over a building. You get to select one song to blast from speakers on a continuous loop to try to get them to surrender. Copy and quote-post with the name of the song. MMMBop - Hanson

I caved and tried the Country Club Mix in the breakroom today. So much for No Nut November :(

Mar-a-Lago face AKA gender affirming care for me, but not for thee.