for my fiancé’s birthday i’m going to sit patiently while he gets high and let him explain all the path of exile skill trees to me for an hour

the carolina panthers mascot showed up to my job, threw his ass in a circle, then told the kids to sleep 8 hours before their state standardized test. it was better than field day

i started getting really strong cravings for alcohol so i bought a shitload of different juices and fucked myself up and now my tummy hurts and i can’t stop shitting #onedayatatime

it was dress like your teacher day and my kids begged me to get temporary tattoos so they could match me 🥲

Repost this if you’ve gone to the doctor or you’ve seen a dog. I’m a teacher trying to show my students that it’s possible to repost stuff under certain circumstances like if a post asks you to and you’ve gone to something or seen something

i moved back to nc because my life fell apart violently but i got a great job that i start in august and i’ve been making art again and i have a silly cat and my fiancé is amazing and i’ve been getting back into goofy fantasy books that are 7000 pages long. life is lovable again, for me.

he is going to tell you a scary story

it was Bojangles Chicken Biscuit Combo’s first birthday yesterday and he got so many treats and snacks and his farts today are weapons-grade

hell yeah motherfucker it’s raining

i got a really good job in charlotte as what could best be described as a “teacher coach” and it’ll be my first non-primarily-student-facing job i’ve EVER had. v nervous!

cat on my butt

spending my time on here today is genuinely making me feel like the last year i’ve spent on twitter would have been better spent lighting my eyeballs on fire and drinking drano

my mom took me to a flower pot painting night at a cat cafe and the cats kept jumping into the acrylic paint trays and having to be taken to the back to get washed off lmao

i can’t leave twitter but it HAS gotten very lonely over there. i’ll try this website for a while. i miss you guys. here’s bojangles chicken biscuit

chicken biscuit

favorite eeveelution is probably bupropion

life updates: i have short hair now, i live back in nc, and i have turned evil. thanks!

hello to all of my irl friends who liked this. we need to hang out soon please.

i’ve been writing this fan fiction long enough and told enough people at my regular haunt that it’s normal for me to walk in and go “these video game characters ain’t gonna suck their own dicks” and everyone supports me lmao

stopped negotiations with our last remaining sports team and ensured they moved to vegas so that the kids i teach lost every local team they ever knew within just a few years

diagnosing people as freakazoids and telling them they'll live forever

i’m a mouse… duh

good news! he doubled my wellbutrin dose and now i feel like i i can speak 4 languages at the same time and have wings that can carry me through the raging sea winds

i emailed my psychiatrist being like “i don’t feel like killing myself anymore!! 😌😇 all i do now is sometimes go a week without showering or eating more than maybe a piece of bread a day for like.. two weeks at a time. but that’s it!” and he moved my appointment up by a month and a half lol

picture day photo came in

“Check out this idiot” 🙅‍♀️ - so what? - bullying - maybe you’re wrong - implies stupidity should be punished or condemned, inviting the ire of Foucault “Cognition is a disease” 🙆‍♀️ - inclusive language - indicts all participants - gets people to pay attention - sobering reminder of our shared abjection

in playing the yakuza series i have learned that kiryu is daddy and ichiban is baby. i am sorry. for your sake i will not share my thoughts on majima

kindergartner ran up to the orkin man at school and yelled WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE lmao

i say the serenity prayer every time i can’t find context for drama. perhaps i must accept i was not meant to find it. perhaps with courage i will find it. only wisdom can tell the difference

i did the album cover picture

gas station bathroom in kingman az playing down with the sickness 👍

i went to the big hole

been a minute since i posted teacher fit of the day.

The state of mental health care in the US is abysmal and if people knew what mental hospitals are really like I think they’d understand better people’s resistance to being locked up in one. You don’t get much one-on-one therapy. There often aren’t enough staff to prevent fights, assaults. It’s bad.

made sweet potato ginger cinnamon buttermilk cake with cream cheese honey lemons frosting for my friends’ cat’s first birthday party today.

smokin that shit that made Dunston check in

Once my dad gives me that drink that restores hp im going to run right back into traffic

ff16 is too horny but at least your dogs name is Torgal lmao

skyler got me this from taiwan so i put it on my rearview and now i laugh whenever i get in my car lmao

if you don’t like bluegrass your soul has been tainted by some ruinous spirit of smog and rot tbh

why is is four hundred and fifty american dollars to change my name

put my hair half up with a pencil and it turned into a ~look~ and like every 7 year old in the building told me they like my hair

putting sparkle and bee and other emojis in my official boss bitch email signature bc i have a masters degree and i’m the president of reading at my school

someone from oakland at work told me i sounded like, looked like, and dressed like i’ve been in oakland my whole life (and it’s why kids listen to me and not some others 🥇.) it was like hearing i won the lottery for someone raised in cary, north carolina lmao.

did a fun before/after of me getting my ass kicked by the first day of school. 2 afters bc i say so.

yeah dude i get it

the children arrive to school tomorrow and i had a whole day running around thinking i have no idea how to teach children. this is wrong and i do but i am still nervous. please say break a leg bee

in just over a month i’ll be legally allowed to own a gun again in the state of california!!! the possibilities are endless