The things they be putting me through for three golden pieces...

Shōki the Demon Queller replied to my texts 🥰

Advancing my proposal for an ISO hazard symbol for wicked caltrops.

Employers only want me for my marketable skills and not my innate ability to produce venom and toxins

Dow Jones leaving retrograde!!

Closing my eyes for a bit to check email, collect dailies, do the little word puzzle that appears in the eigengrau...

Librarian shredding off the dust cover to a book, "unnecessary" they mutter under their breath. The dust cover falls in pieces to the ground and the librarian sweeps the pieces into a bit and crushes the bin in a large, high-pressure machine and then incinerates the flattened remains in an incinerat

Join our community of sorcerers

Always trying to find out from people when they are planning to enter my collection

Some real sentences on the machine today.

Technology has allowed us to connect with the US English Dictionary more frequently and quickly than ever before.

Fortifications have been completed on your rat, sir.

To my dearest: the air quality index has not recovered since your last visit—

Warning klaxon signaling, once again, someone's trapped in my maze.

Caught the mind-body dualists slipping in chat yet again

If they had let me have the whole petri dish, I'd spread bacteria all over too

If I answer the depression screening questions honestly my doctor is just going to send me to that fucking clown again.

Can I make the "Wikipedia" of losing knowledge?

Next time I am pinned in a disagreeable social situation at a party, I am just going to start sending my Zerg over to attack.

(explaining with unnatural concentration) The charm of a heap is that it hasn't yet become a pile

Listening to my playlist that scares dogs.

The torus is an incredible shape to eat

I'm so fed up with my enemies casting ball lightning.

I saw a rock today and my first thing was, "that's that thing that kills Piggy in Lord of the Flies."

As you open your WORD PROCESSOR you are overcome with a ravenous hunger...

If you're anything like me, you are probably asking, "where are her mandibles (arthropod mouthpart)?" 👏🏼

Don't even talk to me if you don't have a carapace.

The best way of contacting me these days is blunt or slashing damage. Piercing goes straight to my junk folder.

My doctor and I, we are not on speaking terms...

If I see a gazelle after work today it doesn't stand a chance.