My mind feels so full my energy so low ... Ough ...

I feel like I'm at a very unstable, scared, and vulnerable point emotionally and I don't know why ... I just feel this way.... One moment I'm fine ... Then I'm spiralling....

I can't sleep Every time I close my eyes it's my worst thoughts... I've wasted everything and for what... A future which will never come... I'm miserable in life... No one would remember me if I vanished... I'm not a person to be remembered.. I'm just dead weight...

I think college was the worst decision I've made in my life...

Nothing will ever change I'm sorry ...

Getting off of a vc only to be hit by a wave of awful thoughts because I remember I have no social life... I'm three years into college and I'm still isolated and it's all my fault I don't go out and do things I don't have people to hang out with This isn't living... I hate this...

I'm a fucking idiot ... I'm pushing myself and for what ... I'm fucking miserable ... I hate myself I have no clue what I'm doing ... I'm wasting everyone's time ... I'm sorry ...

Kinda just feel like shit... I don't know why specifically I just feel like complete dog shit Maybe it's just college again Kinda wish I didn't sign up for summer housing since it costs so much for fucking nothing... Blegh.. Maybe I just hate myself...

Well well well Looks like the weekly shit fest night cake early Some asshat set off the fire alarms in my building at 2:00 AM so now I'm lying here Unable to sleep Whilst my brain thrashes and screams about random bullshit

It's nights like these that really hurt cause I can't even cry... So I just lie there emotionless...

I don't want to wake up and see this face again, but I have to... I've gotta keep pushing on... No matter how shitty I feel...

I hate that my mind is full of fears and anxiety... I'm scared I'll never be someone I'll actually like... I don't want to die... But I don't want to live like this forever... I don't want to be human...

I can't sleep cause I'm having one of these nights again... I'm scared I feel like I have no future I feel like I won't ever be happy I feel so alone... I hate myself... I hate the person I am... I hate the way I act... I hate my face... I hate my body... I hate how scared I am all the time

I'm not the most excited for my birthday... Probably not going to do anything that day... Probably just going to spend the night alone in my room as always...

Kinda realizing why I struggle so much with voicing my emotions one on one with people... There were so many times when I was growing up when I would voice my emotions and either be ignored or yelled at...

Belgh Can't sleep tonight

I don't even feel like a person... Just a fucking concept of someone...

I'm scared of reaching out to people But I'm scared of people reaching out to me Why am I like this... Why do I choose to be so alone... 3 years in college and what do I have to show for it I have no friend groups I spend every day alone I waste every day and night away sad and alone...

I'm scared I'll never be able to look in the mirror and smile I'm scared I'll never be able to dress how I want to I'm scared that I'll never change I'm scared I'll just be the same for the rest of my life I'm sorry...

I realized I was trans in 2023 It's 2026... I've done nothing... I came out to my parents a year ago and then got scared to even go further... They still call me their son cause I'm too much of a coward to fucking say anything... It hurts to look at myself I hate myself I hate everything about me

What's the point of any of this.... What's wrong with me....

Can't sleep tonight cause my mind is full of worries and doubts... Am I even happy Is this the right path for me Is there anything waiting at the end of the tunnel Or did I just screw up again like I always do...

I hate college Sometimes I regret even pursuing higher education... What if you had a job, but you pay it money and it makes you depressed and shitty 24/7 Ughhh

Update Yep... I missed out Now in panicking cause only 1 dorm is left and I don't have a group for that one Aughhh

Blegh, this semester sucks I'm exhausted I'm stressed And things keep getting worse I can't sleep cause I'm stressing myself out as I might be fucked when it comes to housing for next semester tue to getting a piss poor time ticket...

Oughhhh Running off of 3 hours of sleep... Gotta get my classwork done and then nap...

Can't sleep Back in my dorm again since my break is over and the shit feelings are already beginning to flow in... I hate it here... But I hate it back there...